Confessions

Since I have been posting about happiness, apologies, and etc I feel the need to do one about my own confessions.

I have never been the person to point out all my flaws, never wanted anyone to “judge” me or have something to talk about. As I write this I am not only writing it because I want to, I am writing it so someone else can learn from me.

Here it goes…

When I was in high school I was trying out for the basketball team. I was doing great til it came the time to run the mile. Now, let me just give you my health issues in high school – I was anemic, allergies, asthma, hypoglycemic, but I never told anyone of these. I dealt with them the best I knew how, except for my asthma. Anyway, I was running the mile, trying to keep up with everyone. My mom was in the stands and so I wanted her to be proud of me one way or another. I was doing everything I could to keep up with everyone, not thinking about how I was breathing or how I felt like I was going to die, til I got to like lap 10 or so. It was a long way to run a mile in the gym, it was like going around in circles, over and over again. As I begin to realize that I was getting light headed and feeling my heartbeat through my head, I stopped. Coach asked me if I was done and I couldn’t even talk. I just nodded to agree. I didn’t want to pass out in the floor to get “attention” or embarrass” my mom.

So, after I “lied” to the coach, I felt bad. Not only for myself, but for my mom. I got home that night, my mom telling me how I had embarrassed her anyhow. Which, mom never knew why I stopped, as I never really talked about my own “failures”.

A few days went by and I couldn’t take it anymore. The guilt hard on my mind, and I knew this was wrong. I hated being a failure to myself. During break one day I went to find the Coach, noticed he was in his classroom and I told him the truth. I told him I never finished the mile, I lied. I begin to tell him why I stopped and he understand. He told me he was proud of me for telling him what really happened and even told me he still had more room on the team if I wanted it. I told him I didn’t deserve it after everything was done.

This is when I learned from my own mistake. I never lied again, I would rather tell someone the truth then to totally feel the guilt within myself. So, this is why I know apologizing, and telling the truth is always better. It not only proves something to yourself, but it makes you feel better about yourself.

Never give up in what you believe in, because then you can be a better person, not just in other peoples eyes, but your own.

“Never consider the possibility of failure; as long as you persist, you will be successful.”~ Brian Tracy
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2 Comments

  1. I am horrified. No, really I am. You’re mother was embarrassed? Really!? What is she a stage mother that thinks that everything her children does is a direct reflection off her somehow? Shame on her! I mean, SHAME ON HER!
    Hon, I remember when my oldest was participating in kiddie soccer at the age of five. I got him involved to help him get out of his funk from my recent divorce to his father. Now kiddie soccer may not seem like a big deal, but some of these parents are way too involved and get absolutely vicious over this kind of crap. My son barely participated at first, so the day he finally started kicking the ball towards the goal I was excited as hell and cheering him on. I guess I really hadn’t been paying attention to the game, because apparently it was the opponents goal. There were some parents that really came unglued. I didn’t care. I picked him up, swung him around, and told him how proud of him I was. It wasn’t how he played the game that I cared about, but that he tried. SHAME ON YOUR MOTHER! TELL HER I SAID SO!!

    Reply
    • This happened when I was young, like 8-9th grade in high school, so she doesnt really remember since she has went through a lot since then. I do agree though, somethings you just have to let go and let the child be a child. Kids have to make their own decisions when the time comes. I just didnt know if I could last in basketball anyway, Asthma was killing my tail, so I just hung out in Marching Band till I graduated lol.

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