I had a Second Life

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Second Life is an online virtual world developed by Linden Lab. It was launched on June 23, 2003. A number of free client programs, or Viewers, enable Second Life users, called Residents, to interact with each other through avatars. Residents can explore the world (known as the grid), meet other residents, socialize, participate in individual and group activities, and create and trade virtual property and services with one another. Second Life is intended for people aged 16 and over, and as of 2011 has about one million active users.
— By Wikipedia

My Second Life began in October 25, 2008.
Before my Second Life; I went 3 years with no friends, family, computer, or phone. I had a car, but really wasn’t able to drive it. I was bound at home with no real purpose but to clean house. I worked at a Dollar General that was about 30-45 minute drive from where we lived. Hubby would always complain about me working, but at that time it was a way for me to get out of the house. I helped him pay his bills (the bills he had before we got married) almost off, when he then renewed his loans to get Christmas money. I never felt so bad in my life. Working those months, 18 hours a week to be washed away with nothing to show for it. I never wanted worked again.
We lived an hour from anyone I knew. It was too much of a drive for friends and family to come see us. I felt lonely. I would get up around 3am to take Hubby to his ride to get to work, which was almost an hour drive there, then have to drive back. I would clean house and tend to the animals we had. Back then we didn’t have Jade. We did get married though.
Hubby finally got a job in the next state, which some of my family was. Now I was anywhere from 5 minutes to 30 minutes away from family. I was able to see family, but still have no car to drive. (The car I did have, Hubby had a wreck and totaled it from falling asleep at the wheel, because his body was not ready for night shift – he is very lucky to be alive. He hit a tree head on, even had to climb out the driver side window).
Also, during this time Hubby wasn’t normal. You never knew he would snap, get outraged, or be “okay”. I made him to go to the doctor. I told him he wasn’t normal and something was not right, haha! Anyway, we did figure out it was his thyroid. (Which he will always be on medication for). Now, don’t get me wrong, he is better than he was! It is like seeing dark to light, but anyway back on track.

I started the game in ’08. I needed something to keep me busy, at this time Jade was about 10 months old. With the game, I had something I could rely on. I had friends, I talked to people on mic (which felt like talking to someone in RL just not in person). I would work “in world”, I could buy clothes (virtual ones, but it still felt nice). For a year on the game I was called a “square“, so I proved I wasn’t. I wished I would have stayed a “square“, but you can’t change everything, you can just change what is going on now.
I built amazing friendships in-game, even one that I will be able to meet Irl very soon 🙂 She lives in Maryland, but I talk to her on the phone now instead of in-game.
I stopped playing my online game March of this year, don’t get me wrong I still log on to check messages, and to “catch up” with friends, but nothing like I use to. I would spend hours and hours on the game, and I knew I had to change if I was going to build any type of relationship with my daughter.Which also, I started to get back to loving myself, and that is where my weight loss journey began.
Do I miss it? Sometimes – I miss knowing all the Top Songs, and the laughs.
Would I do it again? Yeah, but I wouldn’t let it control my life, like I was.
Would I suggest anyone to have a SL? Of course, just watch your limits, and be who you are. Don’t let others talk you into something you wouldn’t do in RL.

  • – You can gain friendships, if you are home alone all the time.
  • – You can feel normal, and find yourself again when you feel like you no longer know who you are.
  • – But it can start to take over your life, so just know you need limits.

Would I suggest this for married couples? Depends on the person. Be a “square” and be proud! Don’t dive to deep with emotions or feelings.
KNOW YOUR LIMITS
.
Just remember it is a game, just like Sims, or playing console games, just more interaction with real people on the other side.

I have seen this game almost break marriages.
I have seen this game build awesome friendships.
I have seen this game bring people closer together not just in SL but in RL too.
I have seen this game bring love together from 2 different parts of the world.
I have seen this game destroy “friendships” in-game.
You can make it what you want it, it is what you do that will make or break you.
Just know that eventually everything becomes “repetitive” once you learn most of the things, which takes about 2-3 years to see that haha! Don’t let it become an addiction.
All my words of wisdom 🙂
– Jenna

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16 Comments

  1. I really enjoyed your post. I use to be on Second Life, too. My husband introduced it to me eons ago, about the time they first started. I was hooked on it for years. I would stay up til midnight or later just to hang out with people. I did some building and selling, too. But boy, if you do not set limits, it can suck your life away. I was still playing on and off while I was going to college (and homeschooling my kids and working a full-time job) and some of my “friends” in SL thought I became a snob simply because I was choosing to do things in the real world instead of on the computer. That was the beginning of the end for me. I love the computer and I like how much information is available to us through the internet. I enjoy playing games and meeting new people around the globe or in my back yard online. But there comes a point when as an adult, we are expected to act and be adults. These “friends” didn’t understand and so I cut all ties with them. There are a few I miss, but I figure my family comes first and if someone does not understand that, then perhaps they weren’t friends to begin with. Wrong attitude? Maybe. Right choice? Without a doubt. 🙂

    Reply
    • Totally agree with you! I think a lot of people think SL is just their RL. It is like when you leave people no longer think “highly” of you, they act like you have stabbed you in the back, and when it is just that you RL is more important than a “game”. I am glad you realized and got your life back together. I still get on the check my messages and keep up to date with what goes on, but it could be months at a time before I log back in. it is just not something I consider as important. My friendship with one of my friends from SL is important, but the game is not.. because it is just that a game.

  2. Reading your post made me curious. Perhaps I’ll try it but right now my work seems to be following me around and family life is pulling my hurriedly, keeps my feet always on the run. Wonderful post thought. And I admire your persistence to ” set limits,” which could be of value even in other situations. Stay cool/blessed always.

    Reply
  3. My best friends live in Alabama, I love the Chicago Bears out here in Chicago. What a great blog.

    Reply
  4. I used to work at Dollarama, what are the odds?
    Great post! I enjoy these nostalgic posts, they provide insight into a blogger’s past and his/her writing influences.

    Reply
    • Thanks Hook! I enjoy writing posts like these too, because not only am I being honest, but it puts the truth out there. 🙂 It is also a way for me to forget and forgive.

  5. Good for you that you figured a way to make it work and still live your life… Never heard of it till now. 🙂

    Reply
    • It can really start controlling your life though. I was in my own shell for about 12-18 hours a day! Glad I figured out what was best for me though. It did help me come out of my depression, but once I came out of it, I wanted to be out of the house too.

  6. I introduced this game to my ex-wife………she became obsessed with it, this is why she is now my ex.

    This can be an EVIL game, but I do miss it sometimes.

    Reply
    • Yeah, you have to know your limits with it! You can become extremely addictive to it though. I can see how it can take over your life, as with being a stay at home mom I was sinking hours into the game, when I shouldn’t have been. I took my RL for granted and it took me 2 years to realize that.

  7. The only thing like that I did was a Hobbit (Shire) RPG for a while. My one friend and I were on a lot with this guy we knew (he was connected through another friend), but had only met once. We all started to get busy (and the guy started to get creepy) so I stopped, but I remember doing it a lot. I’m glad thing are better for your hubby right now. I know my Dad’s going through some stuff and I’m not even home to support him :(.

    Reply
    • Guys are weird in general haha! I am sure your Dad sees your support from you though. Just a call could mean a lot to someone. 🙂 <> to you!! It is hard though, but just hang in there, it will get better.

  1. Second Life Game? | Video Game Hints & Tips
  2. Second Life: Online Game or Addiction? | Video Game Hints & Tips

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