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Everything Came Tumbling Down Around Me

Most of you know I am a stay at home mom of a 3-year-old, who will be 4 at the end of December. We only have 1 vehicle, we also don’t live in a big town and it takes about 20-30 minutes to get to a bigger town (and no not the capital, haha)

Monday –
Hubby had to come home from work (30 minute drive home) to pick Jade & I up, so I could take Jade to the Doctor. Hubby waited till we got called in the back before leaving to go to school. (Which was really nice of him) Jade and I go to the back room, she is fine for a little while, and she was playing with her toys (I remembered to pack them in my purse). Jade noticed a Barney book in the room, I didn’t bring it was just already there. I didn’t think anything of it, so I just handed it to her. She was fine when the Doc came in and told us she has sinus’ and teething molars. When we was getting ready to leave the little room Jade started throwing a fit about the Barney book that she had to leave behind. She was screaming telling me “No, It is Mine!” and this is where it started to stress me out.
My Mom was supposed to be at the Doc Office already to pick Jade and I up, so we could go to her house. When we get to the front of the building my mom isn’t there. I let Jade go play; I pull out my book I read a chapter or so, still No Mom. I grabbed my phone called my Mom and she is running late. She was apologizing and telling me what was going on, which is fine. Things happen, I understand. I hung up with my mom to turn around and Jade is standing UP in the waiting room chairs, walking… (O.M.G. MOMENT) I grab Jade down told her not to be walking in the chairs, sat her booty in a chair and told her not to move. At this point I could feel the pulse racing through my veins!
Jade starts playing again (with toys that are at the Doc Office). She is laughing, having a good time with sudden outburst of running in a circle then going back to what she was doing. I read another chapter in my book and my mom was still not there yet. I called her again, she is still waiting on something at work, something that couldn’t be helped, but the Doc Office is now closed and they are waiting on me to leave. I am watching Jade while I talk to my mom. While I watch her, I watch her climb up onto the kids table and STANDS UP (O.M.G. Did I really raise a Monkey!? What is this!? Get on my nerves day?) I hang up with my ill, outraged, ready to go. I then just walk Jade outside and we walk in circles till my mom gets there. Thank Goodness.
After all that I got to relax at moms as we went walking with a dear friend of ours, and Jade really had a nice time with watching the ducks at the lake. Mom helps me when she can, and for that it is something to be grateful for.
At the end of the day we only got out of the house for about 4 hours, but that is a lot better than none.
Monday – Total of 20 hours of being at home (just that day)

Tuesday – I am still exhausted from the night before and Jade is hyped up on Medicine. Not really a relaxing day, but I did much of nothing.
Tuesday – Total of 24 hours at home

Wednesday – Stayed at home
Wednesday – Total of 24 hours at home

Thursday – Stayed at home
Thursday – Total of 24 hours at home

Friday –
I had a Doc Appointment about my ears. Yes they are fine, just seems to be allergy related and I just have to give the medicine some time to work to see if it will help with itching and being irritated. Hubby kept Jade in the car while I ran in to my appointment and ran back out. He let her color and play while I was gone.
We decide to head to a store to look for me some new tennis shoes (mine look like they are about to fall apart). I was looking around when Jade starts laughing and playing really loud, I turn to look at her and she is climbing the shelves. (It was all I could do not to just break down in the middle of the store) Hubby grabs Jade and begins to walk her to the front of the store where I was lingering behind just wanting the screaming to stop. We get to the counter and place my tennis shoes up there. The lady starts to check them out and the price is like 2x the price of what we thought. She called management and Jade noticed the Suckers. (REALLY!? They have to put SUCKERS in kids reach at the counter???) Jade starts throwing a bigger fit, kicking, screaming, everything and anything with “want” flying out of her mouth. I grab her hand and I walk fast to the car. We both climb in and we both break down in the car. (Emotional a bit? I think so.)
Hubby comes back to the car and we head home. We weren’t even out of the house for 2 hours.
Friday – Total of 22 hours at home

Saturday –
There is a huge yard sale about 10 minutes away from here. Like miles and miles of yard sales. I wanted to go. I wanted to get out of the house, spend time as a family, but yeahhh…
After 3 stops Jade starts her fit over toys. She starts screaming, and we are off back to the car where I just have an emotional breakdown.
All we do is go “home”. I am so sick of home. I just rather pitch up a tent and move to the mountains for the weekend, something to get me away from here. I finally just broke down and told Hubby I couldn’t stay at home. I had to get out before I get worse. I am a social person, and I have no social environment but with a 3-year-old, and you know they can only hold a conversation for so long.
I have been in a house with nowhere to go since 2004. It is catching up to me, emotionally, physically, and mentally. I finally just let loose and told Hubby how I felt, which he agreed. We are even looking into how to help Jade instead of fighting with her.
I have come to conclusion that if we are at a store she sees us buy something; she thinks she needs it too. So, we need to be fairer about things, and stop making the problem worse for her, and myself.
Also, we need another way to get around this place. I need the car so I can get Jade into a Daycare so she can have fun, and play with other kids. If we had a car I could even get out of the house to enjoy “new/old” friends. Maybe even get a part-time job. I wouldn’t want something that is every day, because well frankly I still want to be a family, and have our family time.
Anyway, Saturday I ended up going to my childhood friend’s house for about 3 hours. I took him out to eat and we caught up with what was going on in his life, and all the news things. He really is like my big brother and I wouldn’t change it for the world.
When I got home I finished watching the Alabama game with Hubby. Which Alabama won! WOOHOO! We took Jade to my mom’s (when she didn’t mind and understood I needed a break) and Hubby took me out to eat, just us. It was really nice of him.
Saturday – Total 16 hours at home

Total hours at home from Monday – Saturday 106 hours. Still a lot right?
For a long time we would stay home weeks at a time, we would go get groceries come back home, etc. I am tired of sitting at home cleaning house day in day out. It is time for a change.
So, now you know where I have been.
My Facebook will be back tomorrow. I deactivated due to everything going on. I needed some space for me, and I wanted to live without Facebook just enough so I could breathe without my phone vibrating off the table.

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25 Comments

  1. New E-mail subscriber….great blog…love the content.

    Elizabeth

    Reply
  2. I’m with you on the Facebook thing…it’s like Internet overload all of the time. I think I also need to be “out of the house” more…because, like you, I’m always home!

    Reply
  3. Hey lady,
    I don’t know exactly what is going on with Jade, but feel free to email me any time. I deal with emotions and fits daily from kids her age. I can answer, or help you find answers for any questions you have!

    My number one advice to parents is Be Consistent! Kids need to feel safe. They need to know you are the boss and when they do X, you do Y. Everytime. But be fair and remember that any punishment needs to be timely. You can not “ground” a kid under 5… after an hour or so… they just don’t get it.

    So imediate results for bad behavior and keep it consistent.

    I promise, this is normal. YOU ARE NOT ALONE! πŸ™‚

    e-mail me!

    Reply
  4. My wife is going through the exact same thing! She has a dughter, father-in-law, two dogs and a cat to worry about. And me!
    And she almost NEVER leaves the house on a regular basis.
    Hang in there.

    Reply
    • I gotta chime in here. OMG…you actually care that that’s happening to her??? Where the hell were you when I was looking for a husband? Oh, I forgot; on the other side of the world. Sorry! I just love you more and more, Hook. You reaffirm for me that there are decent men in the world.

    • Mr Hook. If I counted animals it would be 3 dogs, 4 cats, a lizard and a frog. rofl! We have a zoo πŸ˜€ I have been house bound since I have been married and I totally feel for your wife.

      And oh Lou ROFL! Maybe Hook shows us hope lool

  5. That’s a lot of time indoors! I’m glad you talked about it though. Hopefully a solution will come about soon. Until then, maybe taking more walks would help? Could you drop hubby to work some days?
    Getting out of the house would probably help Jade too. It’s hard for children to be indoors for long periods of time.

    Reply
    • If I go for a walk it would be through woods that have snakes :O It wouldn’t be really stress free ROFL! Hubby works 30mins away and I would have to get me and Jade up at 5am to take him to work then go back to work to get him @ 4pm to take him to school 😦
      I know getting Jade out of the house would do good. She really needs more kids to hang out with and communicate with. I want to get her into daycare as soon as we get another car.

  6. Well, you know how I feel about all of that. I don’t really have to tell you. Isolation is nearly 100% of my problem too. It’s not healthy for someone to be cooped up all the time, seldom be able to interact with other adults, and not have outside interests if they desire. I’m working on fixing this problem myself right now. I’m tired of living someone else’s life. I’m tired of not being able to leave unless someone takes me. You really need to find a way to get another car, Mini-Me. It’s time. And I can’t help thinking that maybe Jade’s outbursts are in response to your tension. It happens. I remember when mine were young and I would go through these ’bouts’ and it seemed when I did they would get more hyper or misbehave. I don’t know if it was their way of trying to get my attention, or just acting out because the were responding to my stress. This is probably just a phase she’s going through and it’ll work itself out. You need some time away from your child though. You need your hubby to keep your baby for a day and get away. Do yourself a favor, don’t wait.

    Reply
    • It is so good to hear from you Lou. I am so getting myself out of this. I am really going mental around here. Thing is, is I am not use to opening up to hubby due to when his thyroid was crap and he was get outraged easily. I am learning he is not the same, but it is taking time for me to realize I can talk to him.

  7. My gosh…I can’t imagine not being able to get out for at least an hour every day! Maybe that’s why I am afraid to have children…that whole never have a moment to yourself for the next 18 years because they are even baging on the door while you are peeing thing.

    Anyway…I give you a lot of credit!

    Reply
    • Don’t get me wrong I love Jade. Her sweet I love yous before bed is adorable, and I am not completely alone in the house. I would be a lot crazier if she wasn’t here with me.

  8. Oh dear, a difficult week for you. They won’t all be like that, I promise.

    Reply
    • Most of my weeks have been like this unfortunately 😦 I know they will get better I just keeping praying and seeking for another car lol

  9. I have lived in the country since I was 4. My parents had to drive us everywhere. So not only did they want us to get our drivers licenses asap, they also made it possible for us to have a vehicle so we could drive ourselves places! I sort of know how you feel….but not really b/c at the end of the day I’m ‘off the clock’ so to speak and I don’t have to ‘deal’ with the kids. I think I might go a little crazy if I didn’t have a car or some sort of transportation to go do anything.

    Bastien is doing the same thing as Jade right now. Everything is ‘I want’ ‘I don’t want’. You can tell him no 15 times (not really an exaggeration) that he can’t have a movie and he still asks for one. He just doesn’t get it. He’s been home with chicken pox/sick for almost a month now – he needs to go back to school and play with other kids!

    I pray that things work out for you and you can get out more, it’s important. And getting a part-time job isn’t only good for getting out, but you’ll have extra money!

    Reply
    • It is really hard not to go crazy. I am a social person and social people need a way to talk to people other than a 3 yr old.
      I totally agree that Bastien needs to get back in school. I think this will totally help Jade too.
      Having some extra money will help but I also want to be able to have time for myself – hanging out with friends and being with hubby.

  10. I’ve been there, lived that…can feel the pain…one car is like imprisionment, when all there is may be a child or two for company.
    My children are now 44 and 40…and even if I don’t want to go anywhere,
    I like to see my car in the driveway so that I could if I want to.

    Will keep you in my prayers, and please know that I admire your ability to vent and use the blogger family wisely. I never told a sole, and it makes for one unhappy MoM. You are one super Mom, you put Jade first, as it should be right now…and the time will come, that life will not seem so confining. Til then, you know where to find those that feel your pain and understand when you vent.

    Peace and love,
    Siggi in Downeast Maine

    Reply
    • Thanks Siggi. It is nice to know you completely understand. It is exhausting to say the least. I am glad I have my blog to vent and to talk to yall. I know I have been slacking but I am trying.
      Before I had Jade I knew I would put her first. She is what brings smiles to my face, but also tears to my eyes when I feel I can’t do anything to help her atm.
      Again thank you for understanding. πŸ˜€ it means a lot

  11. wow! crazy week. you sound like an amazing mom though. πŸ™‚

    Reply
  12. I’m glad you got to vent to the person who needed to hear it the most. Your hubby. He is suppose to be your caretaker and your best friend. Pray Pray. It will get a lot better. Both of yall have to keep God first, each other second, Jade third, and everything else last. It works, I’m telling you from experience. I love you, I really do. Even though you might not think I do at the moment. I just want you happy. Happy with your marriage, kids, and life around you. I think every Mom has a breaking point. Mine came and I never said anything and did what I wanted, look where that got me. No where. I didn’t turn to the ones I was supposed to. God and my husband. Now, I have learned from my mistakes. But, it isn’t all your doings. I pray for his heart to be softened and his eyes opened. I pray for strength for you, I pray for spiritual knowledge to get you through this time in your life. In Jesus Name. Amen. I love you.

    Reply

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