Time To Stand Up

I know I have been MIA for awhile, and during the time I have been away some of you have reached out by email. I would like to say thank you for that. I am doing well, just getting by day by day, trying to hold myself together so to speak.

Since yesterday, however, I have felt stuck between a rock and a hard place, not knowing if I should reach out, or continue burying my head in the sand and pretend nothing bothers me, but reality hit me. Well, yesterday I got the news of my Grandpa is in ICU (this is the dad of my ex-step-dad), so in the mist of yesterday and talking to my grandmother, my mom, my Aunts.. I am bound and determined to do what is right for me.

Ever since the letter to my Step-dad. I have felt relief. I have felt that it did help. However, finding out that my Grandpa is in ICU yesterday I broke down. Why is it I am letting my ex-Step dad hold the value of who my family is? If he doesn’t want to see me he can walk away. I have pushed myself away from a whole family all because I was hurt, broken, and confused. Not knowing who I could trust, or who I could turn to, but you know..  Life happens. I was a child then, and it has been 6 years, it is time for me to heal, time for me to reach back out to my family. I was there since I was 2 (and I am 26 years old now), I think I deserve for my heart to be somewhat complete again. No more trying to make someone else happy. It is time for me to open my arms and fly.

I am going Saturday to visit my Grandfather. I haven’t seen him in a very long time. I am sure it is going to awkward, and tense, but it will be worth it. I just have to move the rock out of my way and do what I think is right.

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12 Comments

  1. Welcome back! I hope sharing your pain halves it.

    Reply
    • It does help to share what I go through. I have found it eases the pain and sorrow, also I can look back and see how much I have grown

  2. I hope ur grandpa gets well soon 🙂

    Found your blog through the Crazy Chicks Club members list
    Happy Blogging 🙂

    Reply
  3. Sending him best wishes for a speedy recovery…

    Reply
  4. I so understand the feelings you are describing. I am living a different situation which has some similarities with yours. I know what it is. Be courageous and patient, you will make it. Adding to that, grandpa will get better soon.

    Reply
  5. no matter what the soul never dies, it only evolves for higher purposes.

    Reply
  6. I hope your grandpa will be alright soon! 🙂

    Reply

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