Grieving with Answered Prayers

I decided to bring everyone up to speeds on what is going on in We’re Jumpin’s little world.

My grandfather passed away a little over a  week ago. He was on Life Support for 7 weeks. I did go and see him while he was in the hospital, and I will never forget him mouthing “I Love You” as we was getting ready to leave. I don’t think anyone will ever understand how heartbreaking it is to see a man lay in a hospital bed, he can’t feel your hand on his arm, and you wanting to lean down and hug him, but you are brought to realization that he can’t lean up to hug your neck anymore. Here it is some odd years later and I feel so lost. Not lost without him, but lost because why did I hide for so long? I know it wasn’t much of my choice, but at least I did call.
On the Friday my Grandfather passed away we all got together at my Grandparent’s house for supper. It was nice to sit around and talk to your relatives that you haven’t seen in so long, and they meeting Jade for the first time. Awkward? of course, worth it? All The Way! By the end of the night, everyone was getting ready to go and my step-dad came through the dining room saying “Thank You for coming”. I didn’t know rather to stop what I was doing and run out of the door, or continue standing in my footsteps maybe I am dreaming. As I continued to look at him he said it again “I want to really thank yall for coming.” He was only arms reach of me, his hand touching my back as my face found his chest, my eyes watering and tears dropping down. Here it is, all these years and all I wanted was for him to say “hey” to me, and not only has he spoke to me, he is hugging me. I was shocked beyond belief. I guess I am still in some kind of shock today, but I guess I can finally have peace.
I did tell my Stepdad that I was sorry for whatever I might have done and that he will always be my dad rather if he wanted to be or not. I will always love him as my Dad because he was always there for me. I hope he will always remember that.
After realizing that I am crying into his shirt, sobbing more or less, I turn on my heel and go out the door, trying to catch my breath as I go outside. I am not crying over what happened 7 years ago, I am crying because my prayers were answered. The day I thought never would happened, happened. I may never know why he was mad at me for so long, but to hear his voice, and to see him was like seeing a ghost from the past. I guess we all can wish for better days.
I guess all in all.. having lost a loved one and my step-dad speaking to me all in the same day was overwhelming, but maybe even in the worse of times we can find peace. I know my Grandpa would have been proud of us. I know he loved me without a doubt. I will never forget the memories that he has shared with me, and his ability to show he cared about me. I hope I have made my Grandpa proud as much as he has been there for me while I was growing up. I know one day, maybe Jade will be able to meet him and get to know him like I did when I was her age.

I love you Grandpa Gordon. (Grandpa Gordon is my Stepdads Dad, if anyone was wondering how all this came about)

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14 Comments

  1. I wish I had words of comfort to offer up in gratitude for your lovely post…
    Alas, I know mere words cannot ease you pain but just know that you are in my thoughts. Be well.

    Reply
    • Thank you Hook.
      Any words of gratitude are good words in my book. Thank you for taking the time to reach and leave a comment.

  2. This was a moving post indeed. The line about your grandpa mouthing “I love you” from his deathbed said it all. It is something we don’t say enugh to those who are importantto us I fear

    Reply
    • So true. I try to tell all my friends and family I love them, even when I dont see them as often as I should. It is something that I would want them to remember me by.

  3. My condolences to you and your family on your Grandpa’s passing… Sending you love and healing light.

    Reply
  4. Sorry for your loss. I am so happy for the healing God brought into your life. 😀

    Reply
    • Thank you Shonnie. We may never know how God will work things out, but when we finally understand it is like a weight lifted off your shoulders, even through the darkest of times.

  5. The timing on your post was so perfect…so God. This is the kind of story that will lift others up who thought there was no hope. I’m trying to tell my son the same thing. It may look hopeless today but six months from now I just know he will look back and smile at how hopeless he thought everything was. Thank you.

    Reply
    • You’re Welcome.
      It is so good to hear, that I may be able to give hope to someone else. I know in life we go through tragic situations, and sometimes we have to sit back and watch the sun appear. I hope your son doesn’t give up hope, and continues to pray, even if it is for a day or 10 years. The feelings of never giving up is the amazing thing, and having hope, not only in what might happen, but the hope in showing yourself you are stronger than you may seem. God knows what he is doing, and it will be laid out where he sees fit. I hope he understands, and I will pray for him.

  6. I guess for a bittersweet moment like this, it is that I’m so sorry that your grandfather died and it was so difficult for you to see him that way.

    It’s my gut feeling that your grandfather is so pleased knowing that he was able, by his dying to bring you and your stepfather back together.

    Bittersweet…sad but happy. I think this is one of those moments that balances the soul.

    My condolences and my wish for peace in your heart.
    Peace,
    Siggi in Downeast Maine

    Reply
    • Thank you so much Siggi!! It was really an emotional weekend. So much happened, and it was all so fast, but it was bittersweet in a sad but happy time.
      I haven’t spoke to you in a bit, I hope you are doing well and your paintings are coming along. Miss talking to ya! I am trying to get around to posting more. We got some more chickens, so that will be my next post 😉

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