Day 5 – Staying at the Table

One Month to Love!
This was an awesome book, check out my review and I wanted to share with y’all the “important” parts to me. This is by far not what the whole book is about, but just a glimpse of what I thought was catching, or needed to be shared. I will be going through each day, as this will be sorta like my “journal”.

There are 4 weeks involved:
Week 1: The Art of Being All There
Week 2: The Art of Acting Intentionally
Week 3: The Art of Risking Awkwardness
Week 4: The Art of Letting Go

Day 5 of Week 1: Staying at the Table


True friends stab you in the front. ~Oscar Wilde

Avoid viewing conflict as a sign that there must be something wrong with the relationship. Instead, view conflict as an opportunity for growth. ~Will Mosier

The goal of communicating through conflict is to stay at the table, volleying back and forth and talking through the issue.

Remember, the goal is to improve your relationships, not kill it, and your opening words will reveal your motives.

Shared Feelings
It’s important to remember that you really can’t argue about a person’s feelings. Someone can argue against your ideas, or your beliefs or what you assert as fact; But no one can deny how you feel.

Real Listening

James 1:19 “Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry.”

To make progress in a conflict, we need to listen beneath the words.
If you’re willing to dig in and discover the hidden truth behind her feelings, she’ll realize that you really care about what’s going on in her world.

Reflecting Truth
Taking Turns

One common mistake we make in taking turns is that while the other person is talking, we’re busy composing our response. Too often we win the argument and lose the relationship.

Six Words

“I’m sorry. Will you forgive me?”

The greatest joy you can ever experience in a relationship is the deep connection that comes only by working through conflict at any cost. Staying at the table is never fun, and many times it’s painful. But it’s really not about fun, is it? It’s about love.

Lasting Love says that conflict is a sign that a relationship is real.

Lasting Love Relationship Challenge
1) When faced with conflict, do you get more emotional, or do you tend to withdraw? Think about how the people closest to you handle conflict. How do you address conflict with them?
2) Find a symbol to remind yourself to stay at the table, the next time you’re communicating through a difficult issue. You’ll find some suggestions at
3) From one to ten (with ten being highest), rate yourself on how well you really listen to the people in your life.

In case you missed it:
Day 1 – The Most Important Thing
Day 2 – Face to Face
Day 3 – Zoning In
Day 4 – Being All There on a Deeper Level

Leave a comment


  1. That looks really good!


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