Dear Parent with an uncaring heart #FoodAllergies

Dear Parent with an uncaring heart,

Let me just say I am sorry my daughter’s food allergies is an inconvenience for you. I simply understand what it is like to deal with such an inconvenience. You know, because I have one child with an allergy, and one with out an allergy.

With you being a coach, and as a parent I thought you would have a more caring heart then what you are showing. You are painting a beautiful picture of how you see the world, and it is completely selfish. Sure your child wasn’t able to take her favorite candy to school with her empty Easter Eggs, but I hope next time she is eating her favorite candy you will picture my daughter who will never be able to have such a “treat“. I hope you will one day take the blinders off, and truly see what my daughter misses out on in life, instead of what your spoiled child should or shouldn’t take to school. While we are on the subject of those empty Easter Eggs, did you ever happen to think that we, as my daughter’s parents, supplied our daughter’s room with candy. Yes, we didn’t just buy for our daughter, so she can be included and safe, but we bought the candy for the whole class. With buying the candy for the whole class we was able to let our daughter feel included in a normal activity instead of singled out in a situation, and we didn’t want to make her feel different because I am sure with having a food allergy already makes her feel different.

I have also told you, with you being the coach, I will be more than happy to work with you. I told you I will always be a phone call away and you can call me any time if you have a questions or want to discuss anything. I have sent you a list, around 5 pages, of what is safe for my daughter and your simple reaction to that was “You don’t got time for that“. It is a list woman. It is something you can look at instead of texting me “Can your daughter have this, can your daughter have that?” If you have time to text me the question and wait for me to reply,  you should have time to look at the 5 page list to see if it is on there, OR, even better you could just flip the package over and read the label yourself, but yes, you said that is also an inconvenience to you. I am so sorry for 30 minutes out of ONE day it is an inconvenience and it probably wouldn’t even take 30 minutes.

Here is something to think about. Every time I go grocery shopping, I have to read labels. EVERY TIME. I have to make time. Why do I need to read these labels? I read them to PROTECT my child. I read them so she doesn’t end up in the ER not being able to BREATHE. Did you read that?

Did you know that 15 MILLION Americans have food allergies?
That includes 6 MILLION children.
1 in every 13 children, under the age of 18 yrs old have food allergies.
Did you also know that every 3 minutes a food allergy reaction sends someone to the ER?

So, with that being said, I want you to think about that Snickers Bar you handed MY daughter last night. I also really enjoyed how you said, “Don’t eat this around HER” and tilted your head toward my daughter so everyone could hear you. I did enjoy you singling me out in front of the whole stands, calling my name telling me to come here.. I guess my daughter was an inconvenience to you again. I also saw how my daughter looked down at the bag of “treats” and said to you, “This has nuts” Did you see the look on her face? Did you take a second and look at that? Do you know how damaging that is to a child!? Did you know right then and there she now knows how heartless you truly are. I appreciate that, because I didn’t have to tell her, you showed your true colors to her. She will NEVER be able to trust you again.

I hope you also know on the way home she was crying. She was talking about how she wanted to quit. How this “team” isn’t about being team. How she was singled out in front of everyone AGAIN, and how uncaring people really are about her. So now, my daughter at age SEVEN gets to know the “real” world. How not everyone is going to be as mindful of her food allergies, and some will even make a point by handing her something they know could potentially send her to the ER. She knows how that feels. Did you see the picture I sent you of her holding her stomach, how about the breathing mask for her breathing treatment on her face, or how swollen her eyes were? I hope that picture (down below) comes to life to you.

October 2014

October 2014

Again, I am sorry my daughter’s food allergies are an inconvenience for you.
But you know what? My daughter deserves better treatment than you are giving her. She deserves people who stand up for her. She deserves people to stand up and believes in her. She is the most caring little girl you will never get to know. Because last night… You broke her.

I guess in all fairness all I am asking is for you to be a little bit more compassion and a little less self self-absorbed when it comes to food allergies. It is mind-blowing, gut wrenching hard when it comes to food allergies.  Being a parent of food allergies I send my child to school, or even cheer practice not really knowing if I will get the “phone call” of something happening to my daughter, or another parent lets their child bring the dreaded trail mix. What I have come to realize over the last few years is that most likely kids are the ones who support my daughter, more so than grown adults. It is only when parents try to step in when the world becomes more ugly. I hope you don’t teach your child to be a bully, because 9 times out of 10 that is the example you are setting.

~
Just another food allergy mom.

Educational Information regarding Food Allergies:
Facts and Statistics – Foodallergy.org
Food Allergies Among Children – www.cdc.gov
Food Allergy Basics – www.foodallergyawareness.org

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2 Comments

  1. Brittany

     /  September 24, 2015

    I’m sorry his happened to your child, I couldn’t imagine having to deal with this but you live it daily but you can’t expect a coach who volenteers her time to teach the girls cheers to change her life style. The coach does nice things for all the girls and I feel she is great at what she is doing with them. A good solution would be for you to volunteer your time and money into creating those treats for the team and being that you are already a custom to your sweet babies allergies this might help with your situation. I hope noting but good things come from this. Let’s make this cheer season as cheerful as possible! Keeping your cheer family in my thoughts. Lots of love.

    Reply
    • Megan

       /  September 24, 2015

      I highly disagree! If it were my child I would expect nothing less than you being mindful of my child’s disability! She’s not asking the coach to never eat tree nuts or peanuts again but to be respectful enough to bring only snacks or treats that her daughter can also have! She has volunteered her time to aide this coach in reading labels and has also provided her an entire list of candies and snacks safe for her child but this coach is disrespectful enough to not adhere to the list and has refused the help with reading labels! This is not a parent that simply doesn’t like her child to eat certain candy! This is a parent who’s child is put into very real danger if the wrong foods are ingested or the oils from those foods make contact with her skin! I realize food allergies are widely misunderstood and seen to others as an inconvenience but they are so very dangerous when people simply don’t care. I’m sure this coach is very good at teaching cheerleading and I’m sure the parents appreciate her volunteering her time because they couldn’t and it’s allowed their daughter(s) to be a part of something but she’s been given the opportunity and resources to be certain that THIS child is included and she’s refused that help as well as blatantly put her in danger of a reaction. So while she may be “doing her best” her best isn’t good enough when a child’s life is at risk.

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