First Year and more with Grayson

I know I kind of left you guys hanging after Grayson was born. So, let me update you.

Grayson was born on April 7th. He is our lucky 7 baby. His delivery was amazing. Not much excitement. I had an epidural. My epidural was trying to wear off when I was around 8cm. Dude, you wanna talk about pain. Dear heavens, I was about to have a come to Jenna meeting right on the spot.

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To Do Fall Things

Fall is here y’all!
I love this time of year. Cookouts, camp fires, smores, football, cool nights, turning of leaves… man, just about everything!

fall

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Just Bumps in the Road

We all go through bumps in the road, right?
I feel like that is what I am doing. I am overcoming the anxiety.
I am finding who I am again, and pushing myself to the very limits I can.
I know I am an amazing person, inside and out.
I put my kids before my own needs. I put my husband above all means, and God first.

What I learned this morning, while walking my little girl to the bus stop, is that I need to start taking in a little more of what is pretty around me. God’s creation is beautiful, even through some of the darkest days.
Have you ever walked outside, your phone by your side, or in your pocket and just looked around you?

The sun was barely showing this morning on my little walk back home, and I had peace.
I was able to breathe, and take in the cold air. To be able in that one moment to just stand in the middle of the road, and breathe.
The birds chirping, the wind barely blowing, and chickens in the distance.
Life on days like this, could not get any better.

Even when I have been dealt so much, I know I can push through. I know that today will end, and tomorrow is such a beautiful beginning.

Life is Hard

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No one understands what it is like when you are trying to overcome anxiety.
My anxiety didn’t hit til January when everything happened.
Yes, I pray. I know in time everything will be fine, but I still have bad days.
It is hard understanding what one goes through when your life is snatched from you. By life, I don’t mean that you are dying. I mean that life is hard. Life of trying to give it your all in everyday things.
If you can go to the grocery store by yourself, without thinking about all the what ifs, than be grateful. I would never want anyone to go through what I did. The worry. The pain. The pure thought of something bad happening.
I know it can happen, it happened to me.
Reaching out to get support, or even to ask for a lending hand.. to be rejected.
To be rejected by the one person who means the most to you.
It hurts.
My heart hurts.
I just want to feel like my normal self again. It took me 16 years to get to the point of going places by myself.
To go alone.
Than one day, in one second all of that came back.
Being touched in your own home. Your private place, your own environment, your guard being shattered.
This is what I am overcoming.
The thought of not having support, the thought of people “not getting it”.
The remarks of, “Let it go.” “It happens.” “Only God can heal.”
To anyone out there who has been through this. I feel you. I am here.
I am here, just trying to be the best person I can.

Lessons Learned, Life to Live

Lessons

2014…
What can I say about 2014?
We have been through some rough times, great times, and times we are definitely thankful for.
2014 has been everything mushed (I think I just made up a word-Ha!) together to make one heck of a year.
I know you guys probably have seen that I have been MIA a very long time. Life Happens.
January 2014,
That is when it started. Actually January 20th. I never knew what darkness looked liked til that dreaded day. I never knew what could become of such a day. How much can change in just mere seconds of life.
I am still in shock. I am still going through movements of everyday life. The shakiness.. the mere thought of being alone, or even the vast of doing anything alone is terrifying.
I will say, once I bet this I will get through it. I will become stronger. Heck, I am stronger today than I was on that day.
I can’t go into details just yet, but I will. I will keep running the scene in my head over and over again, til this is over. It has almost been a year, and all this mess is still cycling through courts. I don’t know if or when it will end, but it will. I promise.
I know this is just a bunch of babbling, and I am sorry. I just can’t go through all the details yet due to this mess could bite me in the tail and I don’t want my blog or my emotions being brought into light if I do get called to the stand. They can do that, right? It is possible.

In all honesty,
The family is fine. My kids are growing so fast.
Jade is 6 years old now, Grayson is almost 18 months old. They are such wonderful kids. I couldn’t ask for anything better. They are my world, my everything, the reason for many things to be grateful for.
Jade is in 1st Grade, and absolutely loving her new school. Her new school is so much better. Jade’s food allergies is no more of a burden, but something they look after. They do everything in their power to look after my daughter, and for that I am beyond excited for. The encouragement, the safety. I no longer go through the day with stress or worry. She never comes home with a reaction, she comes home with a smile on her face! That in itself is something I thought I would never see!
Grayson, man… He is the happiest baby. He goes through life with all smiles. He gives hugs, kisses, and is learning to talk. He is truly a blessing, and couldn’t ask for a better baby.
My husband, my protector, my safety net, my world. I don’t know what I do without him. He lifts me up when I need it most. He gives me everything I can ever imagine, and right now that number one thing is “SUPPORT”. I can never love him enough.

We also bought a house! Yes, Bought! It is OURS.. well, it is the banks, but hey our name is ON IT! Ha! I can’t wait to post pics, I promise I will get to that too!
I will be back, you will see.
-Jenna

Food Allergies vs Faith

FA

I am coming forward to shed a new light on some things.

I haven’t talked too much about food allergies since my daughter was fighting for her life May 2012. Just because I didn’t talk about it much or throw statistics at everyone doesn’t mean I wasn’t praying for miracles, not only for my child but for every child out there battling their food allergies. I didn’t know much about food allergies till that dreaded day.

I didn’t know it could mean life or death within minutes of eating something or that I would spend so much time and energy researching things you have to do to make sure any food you touch was safe. I am not talking about just reading labels here. I am talking about the every detail of everything you do.

Did you know that half of the time you have to either call companies, or send them an e-mail to see what is actually in their food? You spend most of your time helping, or protecting your child. It is not just about companies, it’s also restaurants. Those times where you just want to go sit down as a family and have someone cook for you. After doing some research in our  town, we found that we only have two options for sit down restaurants: Cracker Barrel & Olive Garden. Even though recently, Cracker Barrel changed their menu, so I will have to contact  them before our next visit to make sure they are still food allergy aware, and if anything has changed.

Half of the time, we (parents of food allergy kids) just want people to ‘get’ it. It is life or death. How hard is that for people to understand? When you have a child who is sick  you don’t take them to the hospital for them to run around and play. So, why would I take my food allergy child to your birthday party and let her run around free of everything, when I have no clue what is there. I have no clue what is in the cake, the ice cream, and those donuts you decided to pick up and bring. So sorry if I come off being “overly protected”, I am just being a mom.  

Food allergies just happen. It is not planned out. It is not something that I would wish on anyone. Just because one day my child eats nuts, then the next day she is in the ER, doesn’t mean I am just going to go back to our way of life before. That ONE day changed our life, and we changed our life-style. It is a way of living, it can be restrictive but at least this is something I can battle. This is something I can manage.

Your next question could be about my faith. “If your faith is strong enough you wouldn’t worry so much. Let Go, Let God” Really? So, I should just throw that common sense God gave me right out the window and say “Run along Jade! I will watch you from here! Even though I saw you battling for your life, I just want you free-spirited. In the meantime, I will sit over in my corner and pray while you run free”

So, let me inform you about my faith.

My faith is loading my daughter up on the bus every morning for school. I don’t know what Sally has brought on the bus that morning. I don’t know if Sally is going to give Jade her walnut ice cream, or did Sally just saved her Nutella sandwich to share with Jade on the bus. Don’t tell me this can’t happen, because when I was in school I brought snacks on the bus. My ride was an hour and half, so of course, I brought me something! Who is not to say some little kid does the same? Why would a kid bring something so dangerous on the bus? The reason why is because to that child it isn’t dangerous. That kid is living the Free-Spirited life.

My faith is letting my daughter into a public school. A public school where they have no clue, nor have they seen a child go through Anaphylactic shock. The teachers and staff don’t know what to even look for if something happens to my child. I have to tell them the warnings signs. My faith is, for them to remember exactly what I told them.

My faith knows God can change this. My everyday prayer is finding a cure, finding a way to ‘fix’ whatever is wrong. And now my faith is really showing and do you want to know why? Because just today we found out that Jade might have outgrown her allergies, but that’s not why I have faith now. I have faith now because I am going to put her life in her Doctors hand. The Doctor is going to do a food challenge and feed her Walnuts. The Doctor and Nurses will watch her closely. I will be facing the devil head on, but I will not bow my head. I will push through because I know who has this, and it is not me. So, next time you hear food allergies think about everything it takes for that parent to push through everyday life. Don’t judge them; don’t start pointing fingers at them, because in my eyes they have the best positive outlook on life. For they know what true Faith is.

 

Okay, It’s been awhile

Dang, so sorry I just took off and left you guys.
I had my baby (of course) ha!!

You have to hang on though… there will be pictures, but just wait I have to update you first!

7 Months pregnant and my daughter was in the hospital, then packing… 8 months pregnant I was moving and unpacking.

I had my baby boy Grayson April 7th: 6:57, 7lbs even. I was 39 weeks pregnant. Ironically, I had Jade at 39 Weeks on a Sunday as well. Go figure 😉

As to now, everything is up and down.
I was up every 2-3 hours for 3 months, 3 months I was on the couch sleeping. Grayson wasn’t sleeping well and had (still does) acid reflux. I couldn’t lay him anywhere but in his swing. Finally moved the swing in his room and now I am getting to sleep in my own bed, who knew!? Do you know how much you miss your bed when you go on vacation? So yeah, I was in heaven. There was days all I wanted to do was sink deeper into that mattress but Grayson would cry a little louder if I wasn’t tending to him within the 30seconds he gave me, lol!

Grayson is now 4 months old, we have went through 4 different formulas and we have landed on Soy. I didn’t know that if Milk Protein/Lactose would cause a baby to strangle, and have such bad stomach pains. No wonder I never got sleep. However, he is happy now. He is eating 6oz at a time, and is sleeping in his bed during the day, and trying to get him adjusted at night. We have a doctor’s appointment the 26th for a specialist. He also has torticollis, which is a wry neck or loxia, is a symptom defined by an abnormal, asymmetrical head or neck position, which may be due to a variety of causes. (I personally think it is from that dang swing) However, I have been doing exercises on him, he can now at least turn some on the left side, but he isn’t fully where he needs to be.  I will update on him once we get back from the doctor.

Jade…

Well, as yall know Jade has severe food allergies to tree nuts. We found out May 2012. She was 4 years old at time. She has started school now, and my stress raises to people being absolutely closed minded about how severe it can be. I have now reached out to a Doctor in Atlanta and I will be calling in the morning first thing to get her an appointment. He said he would update her 504 Plan. 504 Plan is a plan for children who have a life threatening condition. Also in the State of Georgia she is under a disability.
We are also going to the FARE Walk September 29th in Atlanta. I think it would be a great learning experience with her, as well to educate us further. I think it will also be beneficial to have other support groups in our area. If you would like to make a donation I will leave a link at the bottom of my post.
The girl I spoke to also said that Jade may even need to go to a GI Care for Kids, because she may have more allergies that attack her gut system. Hints her being in the hospital last March, or so, with a 103.5 fever that stayed high for 6 days.

As for me…

I started back with my weight loss goal. However, in the past 3 weeks I haven’t been able to do what I use to.
I started exercising in May, June I was exercising 1hr 30mins/day 5 days a week, by July I couldn’t do it anymore. I started getting light headed, my mouth would go completely dry, my vision would get blurry and during one of my personal training days I actually got sick to my stomach. Everyone thinks it may be my blood sugar, but I eat before I go, and I drink water while I am there. I even grab a banana during breaks. I also don’t get the spotted vision, so who knows what is up with that.
Doctor told me it could be stress related as well as hypoglycemia so we will see. I am still waiting for the blood test results from last week. However, I have lost 7 pounds in 2 weeks. Doctor called it the Stress Diet.

Just so much going on since the baby has been born, and the lack of sleep. I probably should be sleeping now but I wanted to share with you guys what I have been doing, as well as show yall pictures.
I hope each one of you are doing something you enjoy, and never let a day go by that you don’t live to your fullest.

MyFitnessPal: Jenna_Bearden
Instagram: Jenna_Bearden

FARE Walk: http://www.foodallergywalk.org/atlanta/jadebearden 

if the link doesn’t work, please let me know!

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33 Weeks

Goodness. Things are getting busy around here!
I have opened up my book blog:
We’re Jumpin’ Books

We are starting to move! Yes that is right, TODAY! We just found out yesterday.
I started going to the Doctor once a week. Already got my labor instructions.
March 8th – Group B testing
March 9th – Baby Shower
March 16th – Maternity Shoot
March 21st – Sibling Class at our local hospital for Jade
March 31st – Easter

On top of that we have to paint the nursery, decorate, and unpack, all while being 8 months pregnant and having a 5 year-old. Today I already took a nap, it is so much to think about, and so much to do in the next four weeks, maybe if I sleep long enough it will all happen quickly, right? 😉 I do have to say that this pregnancy has been enjoyable. I didn’t know it could be so “easy”, with Jade I was sick during the whole time, heartburn, acid reflux, pains, and I really think when I was pregnant with her I was dealing with Gallbladder issues, because it was all the same symptoms that I went through with gallstones. I would have to sleep sitting up with her, and I couldn’t eat anything, even salads made me sick. So, with that being said with this pregnancy I can eat anything I want, I don’t have heartburn but I do get acid reflux but not as bad. I have normal pains of any pregnancy.

Braxton Hicks Contractions all the time! I didn’t have them with Jade. I get them during Zumba, if I bend over, going up and down the driveway (if I am in passenger seat – we live on a bumpy road right now), walking, basically I get them a lot if I am not sitting down. Yes, I drink enough fluids.

Okay, enough of all that.

33weeks
This week your baby weighs a little over 4 pounds nd has passed the 17-inch mark. He’s rapidly losing that wrinkled, alien look and his skeleton is hardening. The bones in his skull aren’t fused together, which allows them to move and slightly overlap, thus making it easier for him to fit through the birth canal. (The pressure on the head during birth is so intense that many babies are born with a a cone head-like appearance.) These bones don’t entirely fuse until early adulthood, so they can grow as his brain and other tissue expands during infancy and childhood.

Cravings
Ice Coffee
I think my cravings are easing off, or at least I hope so.

Symptoms
Pressure
Fatigue is back
Fibroid pain – lower right side
Period like cramps on left side
Drainage (I know TMI)
Braxton Hicks Contractions
Weight: 203lbs – 23lbs total
BP: 107/70
Grayson’s Heartbeat: 150

Still got to pack the hospital bag! Goodness me. So much to do, got to get busy!
I have my One Month to Love on a schedule, I don’t know if I will be able to finish the updates though, I think it stops at Day 17, not sure though, but once everything slows back down I will update it. Don’t forget to check out We’re Jumpin’ Books!

32 Weeks

We found out that we will definitely be moving between March 2nd or March 9th! I am so excited, not only to get a new place, but Jade will have a bigger room, and we will have the space we need.

On another note, this week has been amazing! Jade was in the hospital last week, and she is completely 100% herself now, not only is she herself  but I have gotten to spend all week with her since school has been out.

Even with her home, we still have been packing, and getting everything ready to move. On top of that we are getting ready for the baby shower, which is March 9th! I am so excited, I haven’t heard about the plans, but I know it will be amazing!

32 Weeks

By now, your baby weighs 3.75 pounds and is about 16.7 inches long, taking up a lot of space in your uterus. You’re gaining about a pound a week and roughly half of that goes right to your baby. In fact, he’ll gain a third to half of his birth weight during the next 7 weeks as he fattens up for survival outside the womb. He now has toenails, fingernails, and real hair (or at least respectable peach fuzz). His skin is becoming soft and smooth as he plumps up in preparation for birth.

Cravings
Ice Cream
Milk

Symptoms
Pressure in my pelvis
Hip Pain
Braxton Hicks Contractions
Tired

I could sleep all the time, where is this energy they tell you about?
Still need to pack the hospital bag! Yeah yeah, early I know.

Another awesome thing! I have opened up a Book Blog, kinda want to separate my books from my personal blog. So, check it out too!
We’re Jumpin’ Books

Also have a twitter for my books that you can find out information on Giveaways, and free Books!
@JennaJBearden

My New Twitter for this blog is @JennaBeardenB

Our Adventure This Week

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They admitted my daughter into the hospital on Monday.
Jade had been sick for 3 weeks. It started with a head cold, then moved into walking pneumonia. Since Walking Pneumonia is not contagious I sent her to school, at this point she wasn’t running a fever with being sick, but she was on breathing treatments, antibiotics and other medicine to get her well.
On Friday Morning, I got up (our usual routine), and was getting her clothes together for school, getting myself dressed. I ran out to crank the car so it would be warm and came back in to wake my sleeping my daughter. She woke up and came into the living room, her face was so red! I knew then that she was getting worse and not better. I could her temperature and it was 102.7
I called her Doctor and made an appointment, then took her to the kitchen to give her Ibuprofen and Tylenol to get her temp down. Needless to say she threw up half of the medicine, and the throwing up didn’t stop, but it wasn’t continuous it just happened every so often. This continued into Saturday, I finally called the Doctor on Saturday morning to get something to get her to quit being so nauseated. Her temp at this point was on clock work, every 5 hours and 30minutes it would start-up, reaching 102 within 30minutes. You couldn’t tell she was sick though, until the fever hit. She would grab her blanket and lay on the couch. The throwing up stopped with the help of Zofran, but the fevers never went away.
Monday, I took her back to the Dr. Of course at the Doctor she looked fine because I gave her Ibuprofen before we left, and if she didn’t have a fever you would have never know she was sick. She acted normal. However, the Doctor told me that she should be fine, and shouldn’t have a high fever, just a low-grade and she should be able to return to school the next day. We leave the doctor office, only to come home to a 103.5 fever. I called the doctor back and asked them to please do something to help her, I was tired of masking her fever, when apparently something is wrong.
They admitted her into the hospital on Monday evening.

This is what happens when a fever comes on: Sleep

This is what happens when a fever comes on: Sleep

Now it is Friday. She got out of the hospital on Wednesday evening, she would still get a fever, but they wasn’t as close together. Thursday she finally went 24 hours without a fever! While at the hospital her WBC was 15 on Monday and when we left it was 11.6. Her liver enzymes are still elevated (they have come down since Monday), but we will go back on Thursday to get them rechecked.
I will probably never know what happened to her, but I am glad to be home, and say that she is FEVER FREE!

Her class made her a Valentine Get Well Soon Card and got her a Bear! So Thoughtful.

Her class made her a Valentine Get Well Soon Card and got her a Bear! So Thoughtful.

Being at the hospital while you are 8 months pregnant.. let’s just say that my hips thank me for being home!
They ruled it as Viral plus her having Pneumonia even though her chest X-ray came back negative, they still thought maybe her body was still fighting it off.