A letter to my Best Friend

Yeah I know, I have a lot of best friends and you guys know who you are, and don’t get jealous, your time will come to shine, Just Saying.

This letter is to a girl who I have known for 3 years. 3 years I have talked to this girl, we met through a virtual game, but regardless of that I know she is going to stay around. We usually talk about 1x a day, give or take. Sometimes it goes longer, but we try not to get it too far.

 

Lauren,

There is so much I say about you, and sometimes I don’t tell you enough how much you mean to me. I love you, I have loved you since the day I spoke to you, the first time I heard your laugh on voice. My lover for you is deep, permanent and not sexual, but you’re my best friend. It is a love that is true, so my true love to my best friend, my wifey.

I love you because…
– of your faults and unattractive behaviors.
You have shown me that regardless of our differences we have everything else in common.
– your strength is beyond amazing.
I have seen you grow (as a person) through everything life brought your way and that makes me love you even more.
– your flaws are a part of who you are and I wouldn’t want to change any of them.
– your character is fascinating.
All I can do is hope to continue to be a part of the awesome person of who you are, and continue to tell you how important you are in my life.

You are such an amazing person, protective, caring, loving, and supportive to me. You have stuck beside me since Day 1, when we first started talking. You have been there for me when I was in pain, in confusion, and when I needed an open ear about my family. You help me keep my sanity, and support me even when you are miles away. There is an emotional connection with you that I will never be able to change, even when our lives are so separate on their own.

If I could take you to the moon, I would. I trust you with everything I have, and everything I am. You are one of the few people I can truly open up to. I believe you truly know this and that you have known for a long time.

I often feel I don’t tell you how much I love you and thanked you for the support. You have been there for me, or how much you think I am a great mom,  you like my blog, or my weight loss journey, or how you checked on me when I needed someone the most. You know me like a book and well, Thank You.

You are truly an inspiration in my life. I guess this is why it has taken me so long to write you because I knew I wanted to say things I haven’t in a long time. I just wanted you to know how much you mean to me.

Thank you for being there, the memories, the long talks, and laughs. Thanks for being there when I was down or even my best of days. Thank you for being such a Best Friend a girl could have.

Don’t ever change who you are, because you’re a perfect person to me.

A Friend From Afar
by Natalie Kidd

A friend from afar
who thought you would be my shining star
you are patient and sweet even your generosity I would keep.
but when times are tough,
you are like a diamond in a rough.
You are strong and kind
what a friend I choose this time.
You are a friend;
a friend I would call to the very end.
How I miss my friend from afar
even though we would travel so far
to have one more moment
a moment of peace and tranquility,
You see, you are a special friend, a very special friend to me,
a friend with a personality… a friend to the end, You’ll be.

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A Lost Friend

As most of you probably have noticed I have stepped away from my blog, not really pulled away from it as you see I am still here. This post will let you in on a little of why, then after You read this, you will just have to wait for the Six Word Saturday to understand the rest of it, haha.  So look out for that post, as it should follow this one, shortly.

I recently had/have a friend that pulled away from me. It seems she is going through a rough patch in life, but I don’t really know why she pulled away. Maybe it was the change of my recent blog or the more “God” thing to it. I don’t know why she pulled away, I really don’t. I think why I am so emotional over it, was because of the straight cut she made with it. Talking one day, then barely speaking to me, which I am sure if you have friends and one just stopped calling, you would ask these same questions.

I really don’t like it when people push me away without knowing why. I would like the answers to and, how, when, if, but, or however would make it a lot easier for me. I know I am supposed to let God control everything, but in this world I am still human. She is still my friend. She is still a person I talk/talked to everyday about everything till recently. When I say recently I mean like just in August we was talking; everyday. She was what made my day better. There is not a day that goes by that I don’t think about her. This is just a type of friend I am.

Anyway, I know she still cares about me because she contacted me over the weekend just to make sure I was okay. I guess we will eventually know where this leads, but right now I am just giving her space, as well as myself.

When she pulled away from me, it really made me wonder why I pulled so close to her and not anyone else. Why is it I have friends who are 10-50 minutes from me and I don’t reach out them. This weekend was a wake up call, and not just about her, but about myself and who I am.

Things I miss…
Laugh
Ability to say random things just to make me laugh
The darkness flew away when I talked to her, it was like having some sunshine in my pocket. (even if it was 5 minutes or an hour)
Hot Chocolate Mugs she sent me in the mail. They stare at me from the cabinet haha!! jkk!!

How would it make you feel if your friend pulled away from you? Would you run after them? Or would you simply just let them slip away? Would you think if they pulled away from you one time, they would do it again?

“Two may talk together under the same roof for many years, yet never really meet; and two others at first speech are old friends.” – Mary Catherwood

Thankful Thursday

(click the image to link up with us)

Thankful for this week…
Gathering with family
Speaking to friends
Having the Internet
Dry Cereal – a snack
Power, water, & food
Friend/Family who understand

I would add related articles, but I have been having problems with WP. So, if you would like to add your link in the comment section please feel free.

My Life as a Book

A blurb about my life…

An overweight woman with blue eyes that sparkle, Jenna has always seen the positive in her life, especially when she looks down to her little girl growing up before her eyes. While her husband provides for the life she is living and her friends come and go throughout the years. Jenna starts to begin her weight loss journey, watching the calories she takes in and giving up completely on fast food. She listens as her friends and family comment on the transformation back to where she once was. Chocolate Oatmeal Cookies and hot delicious brownies are all the wrong foods that give her comfort and satisfaction. The one thing she knows is she has to get herself back to where she was, which is her skinny body and happy.

Being a stay at home mom, she never thought it would her dream; Jenna loves teaching her daughter the basics of life and finds herself loving the war she battles with her weight. Despite the ups and downs, Jenna remains close to her friends, even if some are far away, but never too far from her heart. Thought her friends are quite different from her, they all have one thing in common love. So, when her friends announce how much they miss her, Jenna finds herself feeling lost again in this big world. As time passes by, she feels the need to start making plans, and when her plans begin to tumble around her, she doesn’t want to give up hope.

The past behind Jenna is a lifetime of happiness and hurt, even though she tries to forget it all. Ahead of her are a lot of challenges: to continue losing weight, celebrate what she has, and to rise above anything that comes her way. She has to fight hard in what she believes in and she deserves nothing but the best. Overweight or not she is a beautiful person and she will finally see that for herself.

~First blurb I ever did~ I hope it was good 😛 This being the About page? I think so.

Never, Ever, I hope

Google Image 30 days of Truth is about bringing out the best in yourself. Also, to let people see the “real” you through what you write. For thirty days I will write about myself, I will dig deep and I hope you can start this journey with me. 30 days of Truth; Are you ready!?


Day 06
– Something you hope you never have to do.
A divorce. I have seen how much damage they can do to your spirit, soul, family, and friends. I have been through one and it took everything of me to come out of the depression I was in.
Bury my child/children. To read Blogs about loosing a child, I can sit here with tears rolling down my face. My heart goes out to the ones that lost a child/children/stillborn/miscarriage/grown-up. I hope one day yall can find comfort, peace, and joy. That has to be one of the hardest things for anyone to go through, and every one of you guys are so strong!
Homeless; I hope to continue having a place over my head and food in the cabinets. There is so many homeless here in the states; they have no where to go, sometimes they don’t even eat.
Tornado; I hope I never have to live through one. Maybe go to the tornado alley and watch one in the distance, but not be stuck in my house as I pray for my life.
Cancer; I hope I never have to see a loved one go through cancer again. It was hard to see my Mawmaw in so much pain, and watching her become fragile before my eyes.
Faith; I hope I never lose sight of my faith. That will be one crazy place to live. Faith is what gets me through all the hard times I am faced with.

I hope no one ever has to think about any of things, or even live through them. What a sad question today. On a happy note…
I hope all of you have a wonderful, fun, joyful day, today! It is the middle of the week and it is time to start counting down the days till the weekend.

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I am always hoping…

Google Image 30 days of Truth is about bringing out the best in yourself. Also, to let people see the “real” you through what you write. For thirty days I will write about myself, I will dig deep and I hope you can start this journey with me. 30 days of Truth; Are you ready!?


Day 05
– Something you hope to do in your life

  1. See my life unfold before my eyes, everything I want, or need to be right at my fingers tips.
  2. One day I can overcome the fear of speaking my mind, with some people.
  3. Continue setting my goals, and completing them.
  4. Complete some my bucket list, or all.
  5. My friends to be able to see the good in me, even when I have a bad day.
  6. Continue loving and trusting people, even though I have been through so much.
  7. Can get myself back to 120 pounds.
  8. Invite my friends over for cookouts, and gatherings.
  9. Being the best mom I can be.
  10. Be the best wife and mom

I could be here for days trying to complete something I hope to do in my life, but we all know the basics now. I hope you can figure out what you want to do in your life. We only have 1 life to live, and I hope you are enjoying your life to the fullest.

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Forgiveness

Google Image  30 days of Truth is about bringing out the best in yourself. Also, to let people see the “real” you through what you write. For thirty days I will write about myself, I will dig deep and I hope you can start this journey with me. 30 days of Truth; Are you ready!?


Day 03– Something you have to forgive yourself for.

I am still learning on how to forgive myself. Forgiveness isn’t about just saying “I forgive you” and you walk away from it. Forgiveness has to come from your heart and mind. You have to learn to forgive and forget, and I still haven’t done that completely yet.
I need to learn to forgive myself for the things I done when my step-dad walked away. I was there for my mom till she was ready to get back on her feet again. Once she got back into the dating life, and found herself, I shut the world off. I broke up with the guy I had been dating for almost a year, I started drinking heavily, I didn’t really care about school, and I just withdrawal myself from the “friends” I went to school with and met new friends. I wanted to drink away my feelings, I wanted to be in a world that I no longer felt “alone”, I wanted someone to wrap me up in their arms and tell me that they will be there for me, and never leave me.
This wasn’t just the thing that I “wanted” to do. I felt I needed to get away from everything. My whole family was torn apart, and it wasn’t just an easy tear where you can tape it back together. The family I knew as my family will no longer be a part of my life. Oh well, you live and you learn right?
I have to learn to forgive myself, because all this is not my fault. Yes, I was the one who broke it to my mom that my step-dad was not being himself; and he has been getting calls from a woman who gave my mom an exact hour to get to work. Yes, I was the one who told my mom that she needed to call Verizon and act as though she lost the password to her daughter’s phone and she needs to look at the account and past history, and yes I walked her through it. If it wasn’t for me my mom would probably never have known till it was too late and she wouldn’t be where she is today.
I also need to learn to forgive myself for driving on a hangover to get home before my mom did on Sundays. She would come home on Sundays to fetch her some clean clothes, of things she didn’t wear the previous week before. I am so glad that I didn’t get in a wreck on my way home, or hurt someone else. I am thankful that I had a friend to help me through the difficult times as if it wasn’t for him I wouldn’t know how I would have made it through everything I have been through. He looked out for me when I was drinking, or driving. He knew when I was supposed to be home, and he would call me to make sure I made it; sometimes he would even follow me.
I have to really learn to put all the past behind me. I cannot change them, even though I wish we could go back in the past and redo things that should be redone. Maybe one day I can come to grips of forgiving myself, but right now that is something I am still learning.

Another thing I have to learn to forgive myself is not going to see family. Family is a big part of my life. I believe in family gatherings, I believe that we are not granted tomorrow and we should do everything we can to see the ones who are blood related to us.
I think we all get tied up in our lives till we don’t see the whole picture. When my cousin died (He was only a yr younger than me) all I could think about was when the last time I saw him was. Who is to blame for this? Me! I am the one who sits at home, not because I want to just “sit” here but it is because my husband works to pay the bills, to provide for us, and take care of us and we only have 1 car. If he is at work and school, how am I supposed to get around seeing family like I want to? I believe that family should be there for each other no matter what. I think we should have gatherings every time there is a holiday (New Years Eve/Day, Easter, Mother’s/Father’s Day, Independence Day, Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas, and have a birthday party every month- if you have birthdays that month). I miss not seeing my family as often as I use to, it sucks growing up and having your own responsibilities at times, but sometimes you just have to man up and do what is right.

“Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice: And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you.”  (Ephesians 4:31-32)

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Sweet on Saturday

I am beginning to think my S.O.S is becoming a Blog of the Week thing, lol! This week I will like to send my S.O.S to PissyKitty Mama Lou!
Lou is really a wonderful person. We have been communicating through email and I have been blog stalking her for a month now. Be sure you check out her blog. She writes about her adventures of her life, the downs, the ups, and everything in between. You can learn how she deals with the everyday struggles to wanting to use Self-tanner as furniture polish.
http://pissykittyslitterbox.com/

Also, I would send this S.O.S to MyRawSecrets. She has really been a friend, a great friend since we played an online game together. She has really inspired me to be a better person. You can read her blog about her secrets. She tells you like she sees it.

“Why I picked raw secrets? Well let’s face it everyone has a secret or two and well I definitely have a few good ones. So I intend to write about all my secrets and my life on this blog. I am going to be completely open and honest about my life.
http://myrawsecrets.wordpress.com

I hope everyone is having a wonderful Saturday!! Here in the States we are celebrating July 4th weekend! Grilling out, fireworks, and seeing family. That is what life is all about.
Happy Saturday!

Love About Me

Google Image30 days of Truth is about bringing out the best in yourself. Also, to let people see the “real” you through what you write. For thirty days I will write about myself, I will dig deep and I hope you can start this journey with me. 30 days of Truth; Are you ready!?


Day 02
Something Some things you love about yourself
Outgoing Personality
Smile
Blue (Changing) Eyes
Hair Color
Personality
Dignity
Beliefs
I love the fact that I can be burned, walked on, people telling lies about me and I still have the strength to rise above them. I love the fact that I will always love other people and give them the chance at getting close to me, without pushing them off, even if I have been through enough pain and suffering.
Also, I love the fact that I can laugh when I want to, smile enough to make others smile, and be there for my friends when they need me.
I will also be there for everyone; family, friends, or people in between. I will be there for my daughter, I will tell her I love her everyday, I will show her how to love herself, and for that I will love myself. I am a “real” woman. I will do things that people may not agree with, but I am “me”. I may not vote, or become the next president, but I will love with everything I got, and I will not back down.

“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. For we know in part and we prophesy in part, but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears. When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me. Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known. And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.” (John 3:16)

What do you love about yourself?

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Five Question Friday

 

Be sure to click this button and blog hop with us for Five Question Friday!

1. If you had the opportunity to bungee jump, would you?
Ohhhh, probably not! I am such a sissy when it comes to heights. I couldn’t image jumping with only a rope tied to me. That takes some “trusting”, and I don’t think I could have that much trust in a rope, ha!

2. Would you rather go to the movie theater or to the drive-in?
If there was still Drive-Ins around, I would say Drive-In!!! I went one time when I was little and it was so much fun. I sat in the grass and watched the movie in amazement. Maybe we can find another one, it is something to experience again.

3. Do you have your groceries delivered?
No, I deliver the groceries myself. 🙂

4. Eyebrows: Do you wax, thread, pluck, or stay au naturel?
Natural for now, but I want to eventually get them waxed again. I don’t use tweezers as my eyes will water, but waxing is just fine with me 😉

5. Would the people you went to high school with be surprised by your life today?
Probably not. Who in my high school would give a crap to be surprised by my life? They probably are still thinking that they are king/queen of the world, lol! The friends I had in high school are still my friends today, well some, ha!I hope everyone has a wonderful July 4th (Independence Day) and I also hear that Canada Day starts today! Have a wonderful weekend my blogging friends!

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