The Alphabet of Love

A.
you’re way of showing me Attention, even when you work and go to school full-time.

B.
sometimes when I’m awake at night, I watch you Breathing. (not in a creepy kind of way)

C.
the way you pull me back to bed just to Cuddle me on a Sunday Morning.

D.
Jade gets to call you Daddy.

E.
an Extra bundle of joy coming in April.

F.
never able to figure out when you will Flirt with  me next, whether it is at home or in public.

G.
your sense in Giving. You always think about others and I will always be Grateful for that.

H.
seeing you Happy makes my Heart Happy. Therefore, we are Happy, Happy, Happy.

I.
I will always love you.

J.
your Jokes make me smile.

K.
I can Kiss your lips and feel warm inside.

L.
the way you Look into my eyes and I know you will always be Loyal to me.

M.
when you can send me Messages about Roses are Red Poems.

N.
the way you put our Needs before your own.

O.
you are my Only One.

P.
Playful ways, bring me back to our dating days, and remind me why I feel in love.

Q.
I will never have to Question you.

R.
when you surprise me with Roses

S.
Spending time with you is Simply amazing.

T.
True love never dies

U.
your Understanding

V.
wishing you a happy Valentine’s Day.

W.
when you Work just so you can provide for us, and give me the opportunity to be a stay at home mom.

X.
an eXtraordinary life, raising kids and still feeling like we fell in love yesterday.

Y.
Yearning to spend time with You.

Z.
being happy, relaxed, and full of Zen.

Being a Stay-At-Home Mom

I often wish people would understand how it is to be a stay at home mom. A true Stay-At-Home Mom. True meaning, No car to go anywhere unless your husband/family/friend takes you.

Don’t get me wrong. I LOVE being a Stay-At-Home Mom, just sometimes it can become a lot.

Most of the time I feel lonely/isolated. I guess living out in the sticks can do that. I talk/text a lot, probably more than I should, because usually it is the only outside communications I get. My job never ends, I don’t have a punch out clock. I am on-call all through the night.

Staying at home gives me a sense of freedom in my role as a Mom, Wife, or even a Friend. I can choose the times to interact with people, but it would have to be by phone, or Facebook. We only have 1 car, so it can get pretty stressful when people don’t understand why you can’t just go and see them.

On the weekends you try to pull in so much adult interaction from your husband, you tend to lose the last time you actually spent time with your friends.

The most rewarding thing about being a Stay-At-Home Mom is to see how much you can effect your child’s life. I love being Jade’s caretaker and her lightning up telling people what she has learned. It just makes my heart warm, and lights up my world. I get to mold her, and watch her grow into such an amazing, sweet little girl.

Sometimes, my Husband doesn’t even understand the magnitude of being a Stay-At-Home Mom (24/7). He often says, “Oh yeah, I leave home to go to work.” I don’t think he knows how much that hurts me when he says those words. When he says something like that all I do is sigh and say “You will never understand.”

I don’t want to get a job outside of the house, not because I’m Lazy, but because I love being home, BUT there is so much home a person can do. So much cleaning, stepping on toys, yelling, teaching, trying to understand a child, loneliness, isolated one can get.

I don’t have a car to go pay the bills, get groceries, take Jade to the park, meet a friend for lunch, go to the movies, or library… I have to do all these things when my husband is home on the weekends and those are the days I want to spend with him, those are the days I want to be stress-free, relax kind of days. I only spend 2 hours a day with him (Mon-Friday) when he works and goes to school. Why can’t people understand that? I’m not blowing them off. I just don’t have an open calendar to do what I want.

Being a Stay-At-Home Mom is not easy, but in the long run it is worth it. I just tell myself, “Time and Patience”.

Kids!?

 Today, I am thinking. I have been thinking about these things since Jade turned 3, December. I want us to have another baby. I don’t want Jade growing up feeling alone like I did. I want her to be able to have someone to play with when her sibling gets old enough, but I don’t want them not wanting to play with each other due to age differences. I was thinking about waiting till she starts Pre-K next August (2012), but it took us over a year to get pregnant with Jade. I had a terrible time when she got here, due to Rh factor, her being in NICU for 9 days, and so on. Also, we only have 2 bedrooms, 2 baths, so then I was thinking on waiting till we had enough room for 2 kiddos. So they can each have their own room or space, but with waiting could be more than a year, or 2 or 5 years.

If it takes a year or longer to get pregnant then Jade will already be in school, but being 4-5 years apart make a difference? I don’t know the answers to the question since I was the only one playing with my imaginary friends, or toys, being the teacher to my dolls in my room, and playing on my swing.  Since I know some of my readers have kids, maybe you could give me advice?

I am a stay at home mom, and of course like most parents you go through the in and outs of wanting another child, baring the pressure of another kid, and more things you have to have responsibility for. I know parenting isn’t easy, but if you want something, then you have to make changes and accept that things happen. You have to think differently, and find time to bring another child into the world.

I also want to get back to my “goal” weight of 120lbs, but with wanting another baby.. Idk LOL

I guess I will just have to wait and see, who knows, right? If we do have another baby.. I think Jade is going to be jealous. She throws a fit if Hubby even touches me, kisses me, and holds my hand or we are too close. 😀 the joys of motherhood.

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