Day 12 – Crowded

One Month to Love!
This was an awesome book, check out my review and I wanted to share with y’all the “important” parts to me. This is by far not what the whole book is about, but just a glimpse of what I thought was catching, or needed to be shared. I will be going through each day, as this will be sorta like my “journal”.

There are 4 weeks involved:
Week 1: The Art of Being All There
Week 2: The Art of Acting Intentionally
Week 3: The Art of Risking Awkwardness
Week 4: The Art of Letting Go

Day 11 of Week 2: Crowded

Crowded

It is easier to love humanity as a whole than to love one’s neighbor. ~Eric Hoffer

There seems to be some perverse human characteristic that likes to make easy things difficult. ~ Warren Buffett

We mistakenly believe that the more we crowd into our overloaded schedules, the more effective we’ll be. But the truth is that growing relationships is a lot like growing crops, they need space to become strong and healthy.

You need to decide what’s important in your life and then cut everything else out.

Another practice that has been very helpful in our lives as well as in our marriage is getting together every week or two for recalibration.

Recalibration is when we sit down with our calendars and go over all the family events that need to go on the schedule first. We write down Open House at school, ball games, band concerts, etc. We schedule our date nights and family getaways.

God sends me a “holy interruption”. Here is my definition of a holy interruption: God’s greater purpose disguised as an annoying interruption to my man-made plan.

In order to act intentionally, you need to shift your priorities from things, accomplishments, and to-do lists and refocus your life on what matters most: relationships.

Lasting Love Relationship Challenge
1) Do you feel like your key relationships are being crowded out by your overloaded schedule? What can you cut out immediately to create space for your relationships to grow?
2) What would you do differently if you knew you had only one month to live?
3) Is it difficult for you to say no to people and opportunities that come your way? Practice saying no as a first response this week until you are sure the opportunity is a priority.
4) Can you think of something in your life over the past few weeks that was a holy interruption? Write it down in your journal.

In case you missed it:
Day 1 – The Most Important Thing
Day 2 – Face to Face
Day 3 – Zoning In
Day 4 – Being All There on a Deeper Level
Day 5 – Staying at the Table
Day 6 – Stuck With Me
Day 7 – Thick and Thin
Day 8 – Last to First
Day 9 – The Imperfect Dance
Day 10 – Painting a Vision
Day 11 – Action Adventure

 

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Day 11 – Action Adventure

One Month to Love!
This was an awesome book, check out my review and I wanted to share with y’all the “important” parts to me. This is by far not what the whole book is about, but just a glimpse of what I thought was catching, or needed to be shared. I will be going through each day, as this will be sorta like my “journal”.

There are 4 weeks involved:
Week 1: The Art of Being All There
Week 2: The Art of Acting Intentionally
Week 3: The Art of Risking Awkwardness
Week 4: The Art of Letting Go

Day 11 of Week 2: Action Adventure

love

We can do no great things, only small things with great love. ~Mother Teresa

We love because it’s the only true adventure. ~Nikki Giovanni

1 Corinthians 13:4-6 Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth

Focus your energy and create some adventures.

I challenge you to start putting the same amount of energy and creativity into your marriage and parenting as you give your work.

You be the blessing.

If you want to connect with your teenagers, you have to look for ways to step into their world.

A life of Love!

Lasting Love Relationship Challenge
1) In your relationship journal, write out one or two action points for each of your vision statement elements for your key relationships. Think about what it will take to get into their world.2) Consider an out-of-box action you could creativity introduce into one of those relationships. Realize that an idea is often followed by the thought, I could never do that, really? Pray about it.
3) Reread 1 Corinthians 13, the love chapter, to refresh your memory about what real love looks like copy this chapter, the greatest description of love ever written, into your journal.

In case you missed it:
Day 1 – The Most Important Thing
Day 2 – Face to Face
Day 3 – Zoning In
Day 4 – Being All There on a Deeper Level
Day 5 – Staying at the Table
Day 6 – Stuck With Me
Day 7 – Thick and Thin
Day 8 – Last to First
Day 9 – The Imperfect Dance
Day 10 – Painting a Vision

 

Day 10 – Painting a Vision

One Month to Love!
This was an awesome book, check out my review and I wanted to share with y’all the “important” parts to me. This is by far not what the whole book is about, but just a glimpse of what I thought was catching, or needed to be shared. I will be going through each day, as this will be sorta like my “journal”.

There are 4 weeks involved:
Week 1: The Art of Being All There
Week 2: The Art of Acting Intentionally
Week 3: The Art of Risking Awkwardness
Week 4: The Art of Letting Go

Day 10 of Week 2: Painting a Vision

Vision

Aim at heaven and you will get earth thrown in. Aim at earth and you get neither. ~C.S. Lewis

I used  to spend my nights dreaming about the life I wanted to love. Now I live my dreams, and I spend my nights sleeping. ~Dan Ogden

Paint a clear vision of what we want a relationship to become.

God says, “You’ll see it when you believe it.”, as in “we live by faith, not by sight” 2 Corninthians 5:7

It’s important to remember that difficulties in relationships are not only normal; they’re also essential.

Lasting Love Relationship Challenge
1) Begin to write a vision statement for each of your key relationships. Think about what you want your relationship to look like in five, ten, or twenty years. This may take several days, so don’t rush it.
2) Pray for God to help you see what your relationships can become. He has the power to heal old wounds, restore broken bridges, and melt even the iciest heart.
3) For help with your vision or action steps, or to see our personal vision for our family and friendships, go to onemonthtolove.com

In case you missed it:
Day 1 – The Most Important Thing
Day 2 – Face to Face
Day 3 – Zoning In
Day 4 – Being All There on a Deeper Level
Day 5 – Staying at the Table
Day 6 – Stuck With Me
Day 7 – Thick and Thin
Day 8 – Last to First
Day 9 – The Imperfect Dance

Day 9 – The Imperfect Dance

One Month to Love!
This was an awesome book, check out my review and I wanted to share with y’all the “important” parts to me. This is by far not what the whole book is about, but just a glimpse of what I thought was catching, or needed to be shared. I will be going through each day, as this will be sorta like my “journal”.

There are 4 weeks involved:
Week 1: The Art of Being All There
Week 2: The Art of Acting Intentionally
Week 3: The Art of Risking Awkwardness
Week 4: The Art of Letting Go

Day 9 of Week 2: The Imperfect Dance

Jeremiah 33 3

There is no box made by God nor us but that the sides can be flattened out and the top blown off to make a dance floor on which to celebrate life. ~Kenneth Caraway

There are always two choices. To paths to take. One is easy. And its only reward is that it’s easy. ~Anonymous

To excel at anything – being a star athlete, a super salesperson, or a professional dancer – you have to spend time on the dance floor of difficulty before you experience the benefit of greatness.

Every relationship has its unique challenges, but it’s how you respond in the hard times that determines whether you will walk off the dance floor in the middle of the song or discover the divine dance of lasting love.

Meaningful relationships are optional. You get to choose whether or not you’ll do what it takes to bond with the key people in your life.

We are never meant to deeply connect with every person who wanders into our lives.

Marriage is a choice. When you say yes to your spouse, you’re saying no to every other person on the planet. Once you’ve invested your life in someone, you can’t recapture those hours to use again on someone else.

Lasting love says that great relationships are based on active choices. The very best relationships are highly intentional, built on the solid rock of shared vision and goals.

Lasting Love Relationship Challenge
1) List in your journal those you count as real friends. How many have you actively chosen to be your friend? How many are connections that have just happened to you?
2) Brainstorm a meaningful way you could let each of the important people in your life know that you’ve chosen them.
3) Write down some of the good intentions you’ve had for your key relationships that you’ve never acted on. This will help you get ready for the future assignment of writing down an intentional vision and action points for the relationships that matter most to you.

In case you missed it:
Day 1 – The Most Important Thing
Day 2 – Face to Face
Day 3 – Zoning In
Day 4 – Being All There on a Deeper Level
Day 5 – Staying at the Table
Day 6 – Stuck With Me
Day 7 – Thick and Thin
Day 8 – Last to First

Day 8 – Last to First

One Month to Love!
This was an awesome book, check out my review and I wanted to share with y’all the “important” parts to me. This is by far not what the whole book is about, but just a glimpse of what I thought was catching, or needed to be shared. I will be going through each day, as this will be sorta like my “journal”.

There are 4 weeks involved:
Week 1: The Art of Being All There
Week 2: The Art of Acting Intentionally
Week 3: The Art of Risking Awkwardness
Week 4: The Art of Letting Go

Day 8 of Week 1: Last to First

1john4-10

Sometimes the shortest distance between two points is a winding path walked arm in arm. ~Robert Brault

Love between the very young is touching. Love between the very old is glory. ~Pam Brown

The right time to be there is now, because now is the only opportunity we can be certain of. If you have something you need to say, say it now! If you have something you need to do, don’t wait. Do it now! Love Now!

In this is love, not that we loved God, but that He loved us and sent His Son to be the propitiation for our sins. ~1 John 4:10

Love Lasting Relationship Challenge
1) Here’s the litmus test: if it involves the people closet to you, it’s not a distraction, it’s what matters most. Journal about two or three things that routinely distract you from relationships.
2) Schedule a time to be all there with each of your key relationships. Try to make this an in-person interaction. It may not be easy, but are they worth the effort?
3) When you’re with someone you love this week, ask yourself, “What if this is the last time we are together on this earth?” “Would I say or do anything differently?” Dare to let your words and actions be determined by your answer to the question.

In case you missed it:
Day 1 – The Most Important Thing
Day 2 – Face to Face
Day 3 – Zoning In
Day 4 – Being All There on a Deeper Level
Day 5 – Staying at the Table
Day 6 – Stuck With Me
Day 7 – Thick and Thin

Day 7 – Thick and Thin

One Month to Love!
This was an awesome book, check out my review and I wanted to share with y’all the “important” parts to me. This is by far not what the whole book is about, but just a glimpse of what I thought was catching, or needed to be shared. I will be going through each day, as this will be sorta like my “journal”.

There are 4 weeks involved:
Week 1: The Art of Being All There
Week 2: The Art of Acting Intentionally
Week 3: The Art of Risking Awkwardness
Week 4: The Art of Letting Go

Day 7 of Week 1: Thick and Thin

Thick

It’s so easy to fall in love but hard to find someone who will catch you. ~Anonymous

There shall be such a oneness between you that when one weeps, the other shall taste salt. ~Ancient Proverb

Great relationships are built on weathering the storms of life together.
Lasting love says, “I’ll love you even when…” Even when you’re sick. Even when helping you is difficult for me. Even when your eyes dim and your skin sags. Even when you wrong me.
If something catastrophic were to happen in one of their, key relationships, lives, how would you respond? How far would you go to be there for them?

“The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no commandment greater than these.” Mark 12:31

True relationship is often defined by how you show up for friends and loved one in times of deep need and crisis.

Lasting Love Relationship Challenge
1) Can you recall a time when  you came to someones’ aid and found yourself blessed in an unexpected way? Write down some notes in your journal as you reflect on that experience.
2) Can you imagine yourself having a “Hosea Love” for anyone in your life? Who might that be?
3) Choose one of your key relationships, and try to anticipate a need they might have. If that arose, what would you be wiling to do in order to be there in the tough time they would be facing? Write that down in your journal.

In case you missed it:
Day 1 – The Most Important Thing
Day 2 – Face to Face
Day 3 – Zoning In
Day 4 – Being All There on a Deeper Level
Day 5 – Staying at the Table
Day 6 – Stuck With Me

Day 6 – Stuck With Me

One Month to Love!
This was an awesome book, check out my review and I wanted to share with y’all the “important” parts to me. This is by far not what the whole book is about, but just a glimpse of what I thought was catching, or needed to be shared. I will be going through each day, as this will be sorta like my “journal”.

There are 4 weeks involved:
Week 1: The Art of Being All There
Week 2: The Art of Acting Intentionally
Week 3: The Art of Risking Awkwardness
Week 4: The Art of Letting Go

Day 6 of Week 1: Stuck With Me

Stuckwithme

The greatest happiness in life is the conviction that we are loved – loved for ourselves, or rather, loved in spite of ourselves. ~Victor Hugo

If you’re never scared or embarrassed or hurt, it means you never take any chances. ~Julia Sorel

Good feelings aren’t reliable enough to sustain any relationship.
Our commitment to each other is the scaffolding that our key relationships are built on. Romance, shared dreams, laughter, memories, and deep conversations are the plaster and paint we use to decorate our relationships, but without commitment everything else will disintegrate with the little earthquakes that come into every life.

When they said “Till death do us part,” there was integrity in their promise. They’re been held together by the strength of their commitment.
Love is more than a song, a dream, or a feeling.

In friendship, commitment means being there for someone even when it’s not convenient.
In family relationships, it’s being by someone’s side even after years of dealing with a disappointing father, or brother stuck in addiction.
In marriage, commitment means that divorce isn’t an option.
In parenting, commitment means that you won’t check out when your kids disappoint you; you’ll stay engaged in their lives.
In the end, you don’t hold your commitments, your commitments hold you.

Lasting Love Relationship Challenge
1) 1-5, how would you rate your commitment level in each of your key relationships?
2) What could you say or do to reinforce your commitment to the people who matter most to you so they’ll feel more secure with you?
3) How does your relationship with God affect the other relationships in your life?

In case you missed it:
Day 1 – The Most Important Thing
Day 2 – Face to Face
Day 3 – Zoning In
Day 4 – Being All There on a Deeper Level
Day 5 – Staying at the Table

Day 5 – Staying at the Table

One Month to Love!
This was an awesome book, check out my review and I wanted to share with y’all the “important” parts to me. This is by far not what the whole book is about, but just a glimpse of what I thought was catching, or needed to be shared. I will be going through each day, as this will be sorta like my “journal”.

There are 4 weeks involved:
Week 1: The Art of Being All There
Week 2: The Art of Acting Intentionally
Week 3: The Art of Risking Awkwardness
Week 4: The Art of Letting Go

Day 5 of Week 1: Staying at the Table

James119

True friends stab you in the front. ~Oscar Wilde

Avoid viewing conflict as a sign that there must be something wrong with the relationship. Instead, view conflict as an opportunity for growth. ~Will Mosier

The goal of communicating through conflict is to stay at the table, volleying back and forth and talking through the issue.

Remember, the goal is to improve your relationships, not kill it, and your opening words will reveal your motives.

Shared Feelings
It’s important to remember that you really can’t argue about a person’s feelings. Someone can argue against your ideas, or your beliefs or what you assert as fact; But no one can deny how you feel.

Real Listening

James 1:19 “Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry.”

To make progress in a conflict, we need to listen beneath the words.
If you’re willing to dig in and discover the hidden truth behind her feelings, she’ll realize that you really care about what’s going on in her world.

Reflecting Truth
Taking Turns

One common mistake we make in taking turns is that while the other person is talking, we’re busy composing our response. Too often we win the argument and lose the relationship.

Six Words

“I’m sorry. Will you forgive me?”

The greatest joy you can ever experience in a relationship is the deep connection that comes only by working through conflict at any cost. Staying at the table is never fun, and many times it’s painful. But it’s really not about fun, is it? It’s about love.

Lasting Love says that conflict is a sign that a relationship is real.

Lasting Love Relationship Challenge
1) When faced with conflict, do you get more emotional, or do you tend to withdraw? Think about how the people closest to you handle conflict. How do you address conflict with them?
2) Find a symbol to remind yourself to stay at the table, the next time you’re communicating through a difficult issue. You’ll find some suggestions at onemonthtolove.com
3) From one to ten (with ten being highest), rate yourself on how well you really listen to the people in your life.

In case you missed it:
Day 1 – The Most Important Thing
Day 2 – Face to Face
Day 3 – Zoning In
Day 4 – Being All There on a Deeper Level

Day 4 – Being All There on a Deeper Level

One Month to Love!
This was an awesome book, check out my review and I wanted to share with y’all the “important” parts to me. This is by far not what the whole book is about, but just a glimpse of what I thought was catching, or needed to be shared. I will be going through each day, as this will be sorta like my “journal”.

There are 4 weeks involved:
Week 1: The Art of Being All There
Week 2: The Art of Acting Intentionally
Week 3: The Art of Risking Awkwardness
Week 4: The Art of Letting Go

Day 4 of Week 1: Being All There on a Deeper Level

Level

I see her everyday, and always for the first time. ~Jean Racine

The question is not what you look at but what you see. ~Henry David

Maybe one or more of the three key relationships in your life have stagnated because you’ve been so obsessed with your own problems that you haven’t stopped long enough to see the pain in the other person’s eyes.

Understand that what each of us presents publicly tends to mask what’s going on deep down inside.

If you really want to be a good friend, a true husband or wife, or a loving brother or daughter, you’ll care enough to look and listen for what someone is wrestling with underneath.

“Cast the whole of your care [all your anxieties, all your worries, all your concerns, once and for all] on Him, for He cares for you affectionately and cares about you watchfully.” 1 Peter 5:7

Lasting Love Relationship Challenge
1) Spend some time alone thinking about the people you’ve been together recently. What was said? What wasn’t said that might suggest a deeper need?
2) What things have you kept hidden inside yourself? Is there a revelation about yourself you’re willing to share with someone you trust? Others will often open up if you do.
3) Take a second look at someone this week in your workplace, neighborhood, or school whom nobody (including you) really notices. How could you make that individual feel noticed and valuable?

In case you missed it:
Day 1 – The Most Important Thing
Day 2 – Face to Face
Day 3 – Zoning In

Day 3 – Zoning In

One Month to Love!
This was an awesome book, check out my review and I wanted to share with y’all the “important” parts to me. This is by far not what the whole book is about, but just a glimpse of what I thought was catching, or needed to be shared. I will be going through each day, as this will be sorta like my “journal”.

There are 4 weeks involved:
Week 1: The Art of Being All There
Week 2: The Art of Acting Intentionally
Week 3: The Art of Risking Awkwardness
Week 4: The Art of Letting Go

Day 3 of Week 1: Zoning In

Zoning

I love you for the smallest things, bluebells on my desk, a pat on the head when I make an awful speech, a cup of tea in the middle of a deadline panic, being the only one to tell me that the green skirt really does make me look like a sack of potatoes. And the big things; giving me the best things in your life, sharing my joys, being kind to me in all my failings and giving me courage. ~Helen Thomson

Only through focus can you do world-class things, no matter how capable you are. ~Bill Gates

It’s not just that they want you to acknowledge them, it’s that they need to know they’re important to you.

“Wherever you are, be all there”

First, a conscious effort to clear my mind of outside distractions.
Second, to step into the other person’s world, which simply means to focus on what the other person’s joy or need or hurt really is.

Being fully focused in your relationships isn’t efficient, but here’s the great news it’s stunningly effective!

Lasting Love Relationship Challenge
1) Who have you known who made you feel like they were all there for you? How did their life impact yours? How can you do the same for the important people in your life?
2) How can you refocus your vision to see others needs in spite of your own?
3) When you’re with them (one of the key people – in person), focus on them wholly, block out your own needs and worries, and consciously make them the most important person in your world. Afterward, write down your impressions of what happened as a result.

In case you missed it:
Day 1 – The Most Important Thing
Day 2 – Face to Face

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