Finding My Motivation


 

Do It Yourself Ideas
Looking through Ememby’s blog and found this site…
V and Co – They are showing how to make jersey knit bracelets, would that not be cool!? I so want to do this!

Redneck Princess found a cool idea…
Honestly WTF– How to make a purse 😮
You can view how Donna did hers here

Juggling Motherhood, Word Art!?
You can make word art from Styrofoam!?
Create – wall art printable template


Recipes
Fried Pickle Chips (might do this one when my besty from Maryland comes up)
Avena Shake
Homemade Cheese-Its
Taco Roll-ups

My mom also wants me to get back into sewing, and making jewelry 🙂 Now I just need to find the room to do it in, ha! I need to also buy me a table so I can sew, and the table can be used for doing jewelry again.

Past, Leave it There

Google Image 30 days of Truth is about bringing out the best in yourself. Also, to let people see the “real” you through what you write. For thirty days I will write about myself, I will dig deep and I hope you can start this journey with me. 30 days of Truth; Are you ready!?


Day 08
– Someone who made your life hell, or treated you like shit
No one makes my life “hell” now. I already talked about my past in previous post and I think it would be best to leave them there.
On another note, the guy who raped me treated me like crap in the past, but I am the kinda person, if you burn me one time that’s all it takes for me to hit the road. I don’t put up with people trying to make my life worse. No sense in trying to make someone’s life hard when this world we live in has enough sadness, and anger in it already.
So, how about a song? I think we need something to listen too! 🙂


One day, I can do this 🙂

Previous Days
Day 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7

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Forgiveness

Google Image  30 days of Truth is about bringing out the best in yourself. Also, to let people see the “real” you through what you write. For thirty days I will write about myself, I will dig deep and I hope you can start this journey with me. 30 days of Truth; Are you ready!?


Day 03– Something you have to forgive yourself for.

I am still learning on how to forgive myself. Forgiveness isn’t about just saying “I forgive you” and you walk away from it. Forgiveness has to come from your heart and mind. You have to learn to forgive and forget, and I still haven’t done that completely yet.
I need to learn to forgive myself for the things I done when my step-dad walked away. I was there for my mom till she was ready to get back on her feet again. Once she got back into the dating life, and found herself, I shut the world off. I broke up with the guy I had been dating for almost a year, I started drinking heavily, I didn’t really care about school, and I just withdrawal myself from the “friends” I went to school with and met new friends. I wanted to drink away my feelings, I wanted to be in a world that I no longer felt “alone”, I wanted someone to wrap me up in their arms and tell me that they will be there for me, and never leave me.
This wasn’t just the thing that I “wanted” to do. I felt I needed to get away from everything. My whole family was torn apart, and it wasn’t just an easy tear where you can tape it back together. The family I knew as my family will no longer be a part of my life. Oh well, you live and you learn right?
I have to learn to forgive myself, because all this is not my fault. Yes, I was the one who broke it to my mom that my step-dad was not being himself; and he has been getting calls from a woman who gave my mom an exact hour to get to work. Yes, I was the one who told my mom that she needed to call Verizon and act as though she lost the password to her daughter’s phone and she needs to look at the account and past history, and yes I walked her through it. If it wasn’t for me my mom would probably never have known till it was too late and she wouldn’t be where she is today.
I also need to learn to forgive myself for driving on a hangover to get home before my mom did on Sundays. She would come home on Sundays to fetch her some clean clothes, of things she didn’t wear the previous week before. I am so glad that I didn’t get in a wreck on my way home, or hurt someone else. I am thankful that I had a friend to help me through the difficult times as if it wasn’t for him I wouldn’t know how I would have made it through everything I have been through. He looked out for me when I was drinking, or driving. He knew when I was supposed to be home, and he would call me to make sure I made it; sometimes he would even follow me.
I have to really learn to put all the past behind me. I cannot change them, even though I wish we could go back in the past and redo things that should be redone. Maybe one day I can come to grips of forgiving myself, but right now that is something I am still learning.

Another thing I have to learn to forgive myself is not going to see family. Family is a big part of my life. I believe in family gatherings, I believe that we are not granted tomorrow and we should do everything we can to see the ones who are blood related to us.
I think we all get tied up in our lives till we don’t see the whole picture. When my cousin died (He was only a yr younger than me) all I could think about was when the last time I saw him was. Who is to blame for this? Me! I am the one who sits at home, not because I want to just “sit” here but it is because my husband works to pay the bills, to provide for us, and take care of us and we only have 1 car. If he is at work and school, how am I supposed to get around seeing family like I want to? I believe that family should be there for each other no matter what. I think we should have gatherings every time there is a holiday (New Years Eve/Day, Easter, Mother’s/Father’s Day, Independence Day, Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas, and have a birthday party every month- if you have birthdays that month). I miss not seeing my family as often as I use to, it sucks growing up and having your own responsibilities at times, but sometimes you just have to man up and do what is right.

“Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice: And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you.”  (Ephesians 4:31-32)

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Day 1, Day 2

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Six Word Saturday


Poor Jade keeps calling the
chickens.

I came in late last night. I made sure the chickens were okay, the dogs were fine. My friends and I played with the animals before I headed to bed. I fell asleep, the dogs were barking but nothing of the unusual, as they bark if the wind blows right.
Hubby got back from fishing and noticed all the feathers in the yard. Noticed that the chickens were gone. He came to wake me up to tell me about the chickens.
We think coyotes got them. We live in the boonies, here in the south and coyotes are so bad, along with other wild dogs. Needless to say we have no more chickens. We didn’t have them in their cage, as they have been free roaming for about 2 weeks now.
Jade woke up this morning, she did her normal routine; potty, check on daddy and headed outside. She stood on the porch with her hands around her mouth and called her chicks chicks as loud as she could. I bent down and told her, “The chicks chicks went bye bye.” How do you explain to a 3 year old that the little things that would run with her, and stand by her, her “pets” are no longer here? She looked so disgusted, she threw herself on her bottom and begin to pout. I think Daddy and Mommy are going to buy “new” chickens.


(these were our big chickens)
RIP Chick Chicks
We also had 4 babies (3 months old)

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Hate About Me

Google Image 30 days of Truth is about bringing out the best in yourself. Also, to let people see the “real” you through what you write. For thirty days I will write about myself, I will dig deep and I hope you can start this journey with me. 30 days of Truth; Are you ready!?



Day 1
Something A list you hate about yourself
I really Hate the word Hate, maybe I don’t totally like it, but hate just seems so bold. Today starts off the 30 days of Truth. I hope you stick around and enjoy this as much as I will.

The things I hate dislike about myself…
My hair curls underneath – Totally hard to flat iron
I’m too short (5’3) – I can’t reach in the top cabinets, sigh
I am considered “obese
That I can’t find more motivation in myself
Getting mad at my daughter
Belly fat
Cellulite
That I can’t get behind the wheel and just relax – I get so nervous!
Boring – this happens when I start daydreaming or nothing fab has happened
My inability to properly express my emotions

All these things are things I wish I could change, but it is me. All the things are what build the make-up of who I am. I wouldn’t wish these things away, but I would wish for them to easier, make sense?
It almost takes 45minutes just to flat iron my hair! Like really!? I am so NOT the girly girl, but I do like my hair straight!
How come I can’t grow just 2 more inches? Like seriously! I have to make love to the steering wheel, climb on the counters to get a cup, walk on my pants legs, I have to stand on my tippy toes to give my Hubby a kiss, or I will be kissing his chest, eh!?
When I want to workout, I do. Here lately I can’t seem to find the power button to get myself to do it. I don’t know if it is because it is 90 degrees outside and 80 inside or the fact that I am just being lazy, but usually I rather work in the yard than exercise in the house.
My husband totally gets upset at me when I am in the passengers seat and he is driving. I cling to the “Oh, Shit! Handle“, I tell him how to drive, I cringe into a knot, I scream, I yell, I tell him to get away from the big trucks! I never had the problem before, but after having my little one everything is nerve racking to me.
For some reason I just don’t know how to express my feelings like I should. I don’t cry when someone dies, unless it is at the funeral and they say something about the person, or give a speech about how they would say something. I cry when I am angry, I usually don’t just stand up and yell at someone. I cry when I no longer understand what I am doing, or understand the concept of things. I didn’t cry at my wedding, or when I gave birth, but I was completely over joyed by everything that was going on. I didn’t cry when they told us that our daughter may not make it out of the “woods”, but I did cry when they put her back under the billy light (just to be on the safe side). I didn’t cry when my Maw-maw died, but I cry when I think about her (sometimes). I’m just a mysterious puzzle piece.
I am working on my weight though, down 26lbs since April! I hope I will get down to 125lbs again, but we shall see.

What is it you hate/dislike about yourself? I hope you can find 30 days of Truth about you!
I can already tell this months challenge is going to be a hard one for me. Not because of “I don’t know what to write about” but because of how hard it is going to hit home. It is going to get DEEP.
 

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Face It

Is courage made, grown or found?

Courage could be made.. Depends on what they are going through. They might have to make courage to get them through the difficulties they are faced with.

Courage could be grown. It could be something that was planted in them. You have to know the dangers before being they are faced. You have grown into the courage of knowing how to deal with it, or what might come.

Courage could be found. It could be found just by stumbling through the path you walk.

I found courage when my “dad” walked away from me. I had to find the courage to get me through such a tragic event in my life. If I didn’t find the courage to pull through that day he walked out, I would not be where I am today.

“It hurts to love someone and not be loved in return, but what is the most painful is to love someone and never find the courage to let the person know how you feel.” – unknown

My Journey May 27th

I have decided to make a post about my journey through my weight lost. I have already lost 13 pounds and counting. I do not weight myself every day, as I believe that really doesn’t help. Your body is going to go up and down in weight. You are never the same in the morning, as you are at night. So, you can’t expect your pounds to be the same day by day. You will have good days, and bad days. Never let your “weight” upset you, if you are happy in the results you are getting, and how you are feeling, and then go with it! You are the only one to make yourself happy, and don’t count on the small things to bring you down.

Any who, I am 25 years old, 5’3 is my height, and I am 178 lbs (as of May 2nd).  I will post pictures, maybe once a month, or the days I go to the Dr. I am not sure yet, if you have ideas, please let me know.

I believe that friends will motivate you, and also that it comes within. If you don’t want to do something you will find 13 million excuses not to, than someone who likes doing it and wants it to be done. Self discipline is a must. If you cheat and drink a coke, then you need to burn off those extra calories.

I am not on a strict diet either. I watch what I eat with proportions, and eat 1 sweet before 6:00 pm, if I want a sweet that day. I, however, have cut out my sodas, pop, or coke, whichever word you use 😀 I have become a fan of flavored water, the little packs you can peel and pour into your 20 oz water bottle. If I work outside in the yard for more than an hour or 2 then I will not exercise in the house. Working outside is hot enough for me, and I am totally exhausted by the time I get back in the house. Sometimes, I am outside for 4-6 hours at a time, just depends on the temperature or shade. I do take a diet pill but on June 3rd I will no longer be taking it. I will be off of it for 3 months. If I gain weight in 3 months I will not be able to get the diet pill back until I lose the weight I gained. So, now you know what I do and I hope I can keep you motivated and try to keep myself motivated. I will post daily, or try to about what I eat or what I do for exercise that day. (Lisa, you better remind me, and vice versa, pinch Kayla into doing this with us) I will update this with a recent picture of me, as soon as I find my camera charger (Bah!!! Don’t know where Hubby put it)

If I exercise inside, it is on the Wii (Just Dance 2) or the elliptical. I will post either, how many songs I do, and how long with the Just Dance 2 and with the elliptical I will post how many calories I burn, and how many minutes I done it. I love doing the Just Dance 2, its fun and you can sing along. If you have kids they can do it with you 😀 (Even though Jade likes crawling around my legs and I step on her on accident sometimes)

The end of May results

May 27th
Morning: I had a cup of Honey Nut Cheerios with ½ cup of 2% milk
Lunch: A banana 😮 with 16 oz of water
Dinner: Sandwich (honey smoked turkey with a tsp of Mayo on one side of the bread, Mustard on the other slice) with 20 oz of water

Exercise: spray painted my doors, played around outside from 2:00pm til 8pm.  (small breaks of course)

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