Wednesday Quote: Pause

amazing

We could all use this reminder sometimes. Life seems to move pretty fast, if you don’t stop to look around once in awhile, you could miss it. Maybe we just need to slow down. Let’s pause in the moment.

Heart Palpitations

heartpalitations

Heart palpitations are a feeling that your heart is beating too hard or too fast, skipping a beat, or fluttering. You may notice heart palpitations in your chest, throat, or neck. Heart palpitations can be bothersome or frightening. They usually aren’t serious or harmful, though, and often go away on their own.

I started getting heart palpitations when everything happened with the neighbor. I don’t know if the amount of stress started it, or if it was a mix of everything. I was also in the middle of a civil rights case against my daughter’s school when everything was going on. I was also in the middle of being distant with family. I really had a lot going on and I wasn’t using my voice as I should had been.

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My Own Insecurities

 

confidence

I honestly struggle a lot.
My insecurities doesn’t cause me anxiety, that I am aware of. But I really am self conscious. It is a weird thing to be inside my mind. I guess in reality I just throw on clothes, but then I look in the mirror and realize my mom muffin top can be seen and completely change what I wanted to wear. It sucks. I only have the front of my stomach to be the issue. Like you can totally tell a watermelon kiddo was in there. Like excess skin, stretch marks, the look of a muffin top… it doesn’t go away. Maybe some people look at me to be beautiful but in my head, I think I can be “better“.

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First Year and more with Grayson

I know I kind of left you guys hanging after Grayson was born. So, let me update you.

Grayson was born on April 7th. He is our lucky 7 baby. His delivery was amazing. Not much excitement. I had an epidural. My epidural was trying to wear off when I was around 8cm. Dude, you wanna talk about pain. Dear heavens, I was about to have a come to Jenna meeting right on the spot.

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To Do Fall Things

Fall is here y’all!
I love this time of year. Cookouts, camp fires, smores, football, cool nights, turning of leaves… man, just about everything!

fall

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Depression and Anxiety

pain

I have depression and anxiety. Yup, I will admit it here. I have suffered with it for a long time, I just never talk about it. I don’t even take medicine for it, because I don’t want a pill helping me, I want to help myself. My anxiety comes from a number of places: my past, dealing with medical issues, just a lot of different things. I’m not one to say “I’m depressed today, leave me alone” or “I can’t do that due to my anxiety” or “Pray for me, my anxiety is bad“. I guess in a way, to me, if I said those things I would look at it as an excuse? Instead, I cover up with that excuse with something else.

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Just Bumps in the Road

We all go through bumps in the road, right?
I feel like that is what I am doing. I am overcoming the anxiety.
I am finding who I am again, and pushing myself to the very limits I can.
I know I am an amazing person, inside and out.
I put my kids before my own needs. I put my husband above all means, and God first.

What I learned this morning, while walking my little girl to the bus stop, is that I need to start taking in a little more of what is pretty around me. God’s creation is beautiful, even through some of the darkest days.
Have you ever walked outside, your phone by your side, or in your pocket and just looked around you?

The sun was barely showing this morning on my little walk back home, and I had peace.
I was able to breathe, and take in the cold air. To be able in that one moment to just stand in the middle of the road, and breathe.
The birds chirping, the wind barely blowing, and chickens in the distance.
Life on days like this, could not get any better.

Even when I have been dealt so much, I know I can push through. I know that today will end, and tomorrow is such a beautiful beginning.

Lessons Learned, Life to Live

Lessons

2014…
What can I say about 2014?
We have been through some rough times, great times, and times we are definitely thankful for.
2014 has been everything mushed (I think I just made up a word-Ha!) together to make one heck of a year.
I know you guys probably have seen that I have been MIA a very long time. Life Happens.
January 2014,
That is when it started. Actually January 20th. I never knew what darkness looked liked til that dreaded day. I never knew what could become of such a day. How much can change in just mere seconds of life.
I am still in shock. I am still going through movements of everyday life. The shakiness.. the mere thought of being alone, or even the vast of doing anything alone is terrifying.
I will say, once I bet this I will get through it. I will become stronger. Heck, I am stronger today than I was on that day.
I can’t go into details just yet, but I will. I will keep running the scene in my head over and over again, til this is over. It has almost been a year, and all this mess is still cycling through courts. I don’t know if or when it will end, but it will. I promise.
I know this is just a bunch of babbling, and I am sorry. I just can’t go through all the details yet due to this mess could bite me in the tail and I don’t want my blog or my emotions being brought into light if I do get called to the stand. They can do that, right? It is possible.

In all honesty,
The family is fine. My kids are growing so fast.
Jade is 6 years old now, Grayson is almost 18 months old. They are such wonderful kids. I couldn’t ask for anything better. They are my world, my everything, the reason for many things to be grateful for.
Jade is in 1st Grade, and absolutely loving her new school. Her new school is so much better. Jade’s food allergies is no more of a burden, but something they look after. They do everything in their power to look after my daughter, and for that I am beyond excited for. The encouragement, the safety. I no longer go through the day with stress or worry. She never comes home with a reaction, she comes home with a smile on her face! That in itself is something I thought I would never see!
Grayson, man… He is the happiest baby. He goes through life with all smiles. He gives hugs, kisses, and is learning to talk. He is truly a blessing, and couldn’t ask for a better baby.
My husband, my protector, my safety net, my world. I don’t know what I do without him. He lifts me up when I need it most. He gives me everything I can ever imagine, and right now that number one thing is “SUPPORT”. I can never love him enough.

We also bought a house! Yes, Bought! It is OURS.. well, it is the banks, but hey our name is ON IT! Ha! I can’t wait to post pics, I promise I will get to that too!
I will be back, you will see.
-Jenna

Food Allergies vs Faith

FA

I am coming forward to shed a new light on some things.

I haven’t talked too much about food allergies since my daughter was fighting for her life May 2012. Just because I didn’t talk about it much or throw statistics at everyone doesn’t mean I wasn’t praying for miracles, not only for my child but for every child out there battling their food allergies. I didn’t know much about food allergies till that dreaded day.

I didn’t know it could mean life or death within minutes of eating something or that I would spend so much time and energy researching things you have to do to make sure any food you touch was safe. I am not talking about just reading labels here. I am talking about the every detail of everything you do.

Did you know that half of the time you have to either call companies, or send them an e-mail to see what is actually in their food? You spend most of your time helping, or protecting your child. It is not just about companies, it’s also restaurants. Those times where you just want to go sit down as a family and have someone cook for you. After doing some research in our  town, we found that we only have two options for sit down restaurants: Cracker Barrel & Olive Garden. Even though recently, Cracker Barrel changed their menu, so I will have to contact  them before our next visit to make sure they are still food allergy aware, and if anything has changed.

Half of the time, we (parents of food allergy kids) just want people to ‘get’ it. It is life or death. How hard is that for people to understand? When you have a child who is sick  you don’t take them to the hospital for them to run around and play. So, why would I take my food allergy child to your birthday party and let her run around free of everything, when I have no clue what is there. I have no clue what is in the cake, the ice cream, and those donuts you decided to pick up and bring. So sorry if I come off being “overly protected”, I am just being a mom.  

Food allergies just happen. It is not planned out. It is not something that I would wish on anyone. Just because one day my child eats nuts, then the next day she is in the ER, doesn’t mean I am just going to go back to our way of life before. That ONE day changed our life, and we changed our life-style. It is a way of living, it can be restrictive but at least this is something I can battle. This is something I can manage.

Your next question could be about my faith. “If your faith is strong enough you wouldn’t worry so much. Let Go, Let God” Really? So, I should just throw that common sense God gave me right out the window and say “Run along Jade! I will watch you from here! Even though I saw you battling for your life, I just want you free-spirited. In the meantime, I will sit over in my corner and pray while you run free”

So, let me inform you about my faith.

My faith is loading my daughter up on the bus every morning for school. I don’t know what Sally has brought on the bus that morning. I don’t know if Sally is going to give Jade her walnut ice cream, or did Sally just saved her Nutella sandwich to share with Jade on the bus. Don’t tell me this can’t happen, because when I was in school I brought snacks on the bus. My ride was an hour and half, so of course, I brought me something! Who is not to say some little kid does the same? Why would a kid bring something so dangerous on the bus? The reason why is because to that child it isn’t dangerous. That kid is living the Free-Spirited life.

My faith is letting my daughter into a public school. A public school where they have no clue, nor have they seen a child go through Anaphylactic shock. The teachers and staff don’t know what to even look for if something happens to my child. I have to tell them the warnings signs. My faith is, for them to remember exactly what I told them.

My faith knows God can change this. My everyday prayer is finding a cure, finding a way to ‘fix’ whatever is wrong. And now my faith is really showing and do you want to know why? Because just today we found out that Jade might have outgrown her allergies, but that’s not why I have faith now. I have faith now because I am going to put her life in her Doctors hand. The Doctor is going to do a food challenge and feed her Walnuts. The Doctor and Nurses will watch her closely. I will be facing the devil head on, but I will not bow my head. I will push through because I know who has this, and it is not me. So, next time you hear food allergies think about everything it takes for that parent to push through everyday life. Don’t judge them; don’t start pointing fingers at them, because in my eyes they have the best positive outlook on life. For they know what true Faith is.

 

30 Weeks

My goodness this week has been busy. My daughter had walking pneumonia, my husband had an awful head cold, and now I am sporting the sniffling, runny nose, with that awesome head cold. Don’t ya love it when Hubby shares with you? On top of all that we are packing, painting furniture, going to Dr Appointments, and cleaning out things we don’t need.

With being sick, I completely missed out on Zumba yesterday, and posting this. I have been resting on the couch. Not much you can take while your pregnant, so resting is always a good thing.

30 weeks

Your belly’s increasing size is a definite clue that your baby is getting bigger every day, weighing in at over three pounds now (he’ll be packing on the weight at a rate of half a pound per week for the next seven weeks). Also growing daily is his brain, which is actually starting to look like the real thing with those characteristic grooves and wrinkles. And now that your little genius can regulate his own body temperature and turn up the heat, he’ll start shedding lanugo, the downy body hair that’s been keeping him warm up until now.

Cravings
Sour Skittles
Mash Potatoes
Burgers
Ice Cold Water
Ice Cold Milk

Symptoms
Sinus Crap: Runny Nose, Sinus Pressure, Coughing, etc
Tired
Baby kicked so hard today. He completely moved my belly to one side
Braxton Hicks Contractions
Shortness of Breath

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