No one understands what it is like when you are trying to overcome anxiety.
My anxiety didn’t hit til January when everything happened.
Yes, I pray. I know in time everything will be fine, but I still have bad days.
It is hard understanding what one goes through when your life is snatched from you. By life, I don’t mean that you are dying. I mean that life is hard. Life of trying to give it your all in everyday things.
If you can go to the grocery store by yourself, without thinking about all the what ifs, than be grateful. I would never want anyone to go through what I did. The worry. The pain. The pure thought of something bad happening.
I know it can happen, it happened to me.
Reaching out to get support, or even to ask for a lending hand.. to be rejected.
To be rejected by the one person who means the most to you.
It hurts.
My heart hurts.
I just want to feel like my normal self again. It took me 16 years to get to the point of going places by myself.
To go alone.
Than one day, in one second all of that came back.
Being touched in your own home. Your private place, your own environment, your guard being shattered.
This is what I am overcoming.
The thought of not having support, the thought of people “not getting it”.
The remarks of, “Let it go.” “It happens.” “Only God can heal.”
To anyone out there who has been through this. I feel you. I am here.
I am here, just trying to be the best person I can.