One Simple Act of Encouragement

A little encouragement goes a long way.
When my mom was going through a divorce she also lost her mom. I never really explained what happened to me during the time of grief my mom was going through.

I often prayed that she would feel better for herself, and realize no one deserves to be cheated on, left abandoned in their own home and for her ex-husband to show no love for the mother-in-law that treated him like her own son.

My mom went through so much in such a little time. I remember having to wake up at 6am to get her out of bed. I would stand beside her bed, pulling her arm, and telling her she has to get up, so she will have her job. I remember being encouraging through the most difficult time of her life, but I knew once I got her going she will be alright. I just had to get her going; one step at a time.

She eventually found herself and a guy that treated her decent (at the time). During this time she didn’t come home as often but I didn’t tell anyone. I often laid in the bed wondering when she would come home. I was happy that she was okay, but during all that time I was being strong for her, but now I was losing myself.

I was having to get up early, go to high school, and college, often finding rides with my best friend, maintaining on the honor roll, and showing I can graduate through all circumstances. However, on the weekends I was depending on alcohol to ease my woes, and frustrations.

My mom was barely coming home, my friends were working or talking about other stuff while I worried about gas in my car and the power being turned off, or where the next meal would come from. On weekends I often spend time with my friends knowing I would eat.
Now don’t get me wrong I wasn’t starving, I ate at school, and my best friend Justin often came to get to me to take me out to eat. He knew what was going on, but we often didn’t speak of it. He made me laugh as much as he could, which was a lot.

I had friends tell me I was heading down the wrong path, but I knew this. I didn’t want them to be my parent. I wanted them to encourage me, how to help me, or etc.

I eventually would lay on my bed in the mornings praying for my morning hangover to ease, and pray for God to just send me someone to help me. Someone who would help me stop drinking, someone to show me they cared instead of talking down at me, like I didn’t know what was wrong.

Within two weeks God places my husband in my life. His exact words was “If were going to be together, the drinking will stop.”
I knew then God listened to me, and opened my eyes that He can put people in your life for a reason.

One Simple Act of Encouragement can go a long way. Just remember next time you are down to never give up on something good happening in your life.

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Confessions

Since I have been posting about happiness, apologies, and etc I feel the need to do one about my own confessions.

I have never been the person to point out all my flaws, never wanted anyone to “judge” me or have something to talk about. As I write this I am not only writing it because I want to, I am writing it so someone else can learn from me.

Here it goes…

When I was in high school I was trying out for the basketball team. I was doing great til it came the time to run the mile. Now, let me just give you my health issues in high school – I was anemic, allergies, asthma, hypoglycemic, but I never told anyone of these. I dealt with them the best I knew how, except for my asthma. Anyway, I was running the mile, trying to keep up with everyone. My mom was in the stands and so I wanted her to be proud of me one way or another. I was doing everything I could to keep up with everyone, not thinking about how I was breathing or how I felt like I was going to die, til I got to like lap 10 or so. It was a long way to run a mile in the gym, it was like going around in circles, over and over again. As I begin to realize that I was getting light headed and feeling my heartbeat through my head, I stopped. Coach asked me if I was done and I couldn’t even talk. I just nodded to agree. I didn’t want to pass out in the floor to get “attention” or embarrass” my mom.

So, after I “lied” to the coach, I felt bad. Not only for myself, but for my mom. I got home that night, my mom telling me how I had embarrassed her anyhow. Which, mom never knew why I stopped, as I never really talked about my own “failures”.

A few days went by and I couldn’t take it anymore. The guilt hard on my mind, and I knew this was wrong. I hated being a failure to myself. During break one day I went to find the Coach, noticed he was in his classroom and I told him the truth. I told him I never finished the mile, I lied. I begin to tell him why I stopped and he understand. He told me he was proud of me for telling him what really happened and even told me he still had more room on the team if I wanted it. I told him I didn’t deserve it after everything was done.

This is when I learned from my own mistake. I never lied again, I would rather tell someone the truth then to totally feel the guilt within myself. So, this is why I know apologizing, and telling the truth is always better. It not only proves something to yourself, but it makes you feel better about yourself.

Never give up in what you believe in, because then you can be a better person, not just in other peoples eyes, but your own.

“Never consider the possibility of failure; as long as you persist, you will be successful.”~ Brian Tracy

Life, in my little girl’s eyes

As young girls grow, we go from innocent kids, to teens than adults. We start off so small, learning from the parents who brought us into the world, or to parents who stepped in to help, or the single parents who somehow made it possible through the storms.

As a parent, myself, I look at my little girl, not wanting to think about her path before her, but about the path she walks now. She has made me realize how life should be simple. Who would have known a 3-year-old could teach a powerful lesson to her mom?

This is coming from a child who we didn’t know if she would “make it out of the woods” as she laid helpless in NICU for 9 days after she was born in 2007. The little girl, who has fought her battles just to become a normal child, and a blessing in a lot of people’s eyes, is now teaching her own mom.

My little girl has shown me that the smallest things in life matter most. Like, stopping to pick a flower and smelling it before running after her favorite cat, or while I am working in the flower bed, she brings me her ball, I stop what I am doing to play ball with her, tossing it back and forth as I watch her eyes light up and her beautiful laugh fills the air.

Every day she makes her mama proud. I let her live her life day by day, as we are not little ones forever. I teach her what I can, how beautiful she is, or funny she may be. We celebrate her milestones as if she was declared princess. We sing our ABC’s, but she seems to like Leap Frog better than me.

I try to do what mothers are to do, teach her things she needs to know or show her that just because you fall down doesn’t make your whole day bad. You just have to dust it off and keep going. There is some sunlight outside; it is just up for us to find it.

As a parent I do not think I am perfect, as I do make mistakes on my own. I try not to let my mistakes take a hold of me, as I learn from these and will pass it on to my child one day. I have found my happiness and I found it because of a little girl who says, “Momma”, three hundred million times a day. She may never know how much she means to me, but I hope one day she will realize how she has opened my eyes.

Now every time I pass my rose-bush, I smile and take a sniff, as my child would if she was running by. Maybe next time I can grab her up and dance under the sun, barefoot in the grass, or lay down and watch the clouds move as she tells me what she sees written or drawn in the sky, but knowing her, she will spot an airplane and ask if she can go get it, as I wish her future dreams will be that high.

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