Being a Stay-At-Home Mom

I often wish people would understand how it is to be a stay at home mom. A true Stay-At-Home Mom. True meaning, No car to go anywhere unless your husband/family/friend takes you.

Don’t get me wrong. I LOVE being a Stay-At-Home Mom, just sometimes it can become a lot.

Most of the time I feel lonely/isolated. I guess living out in the sticks can do that. I talk/text a lot, probably more than I should, because usually it is the only outside communications I get. My job never ends, I don’t have a punch out clock. I am on-call all through the night.

Staying at home gives me a sense of freedom in my role as a Mom, Wife, or even a Friend. I can choose the times to interact with people, but it would have to be by phone, or Facebook. We only have 1 car, so it can get pretty stressful when people don’t understand why you can’t just go and see them.

On the weekends you try to pull in so much adult interaction from your husband, you tend to lose the last time you actually spent time with your friends.

The most rewarding thing about being a Stay-At-Home Mom is to see how much you can effect your child’s life. I love being Jade’s caretaker and her lightning up telling people what she has learned. It just makes my heart warm, and lights up my world. I get to mold her, and watch her grow into such an amazing, sweet little girl.

Sometimes, my Husband doesn’t even understand the magnitude of being a Stay-At-Home Mom (24/7). He often says, “Oh yeah, I leave home to go to work.” I don’t think he knows how much that hurts me when he says those words. When he says something like that all I do is sigh and say “You will never understand.”

I don’t want to get a job outside of the house, not because I’m Lazy, but because I love being home, BUT there is so much home a person can do. So much cleaning, stepping on toys, yelling, teaching, trying to understand a child, loneliness, isolated one can get.

I don’t have a car to go pay the bills, get groceries, take Jade to the park, meet a friend for lunch, go to the movies, or library… I have to do all these things when my husband is home on the weekends and those are the days I want to spend with him, those are the days I want to be stress-free, relax kind of days. I only spend 2 hours a day with him (Mon-Friday) when he works and goes to school. Why can’t people understand that? I’m not blowing them off. I just don’t have an open calendar to do what I want.

Being a Stay-At-Home Mom is not easy, but in the long run it is worth it. I just tell myself, “Time and Patience”.

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Time To Stand Up

I know I have been MIA for awhile, and during the time I have been away some of you have reached out by email. I would like to say thank you for that. I am doing well, just getting by day by day, trying to hold myself together so to speak.

Since yesterday, however, I have felt stuck between a rock and a hard place, not knowing if I should reach out, or continue burying my head in the sand and pretend nothing bothers me, but reality hit me. Well, yesterday I got the news of my Grandpa is in ICU (this is the dad of my ex-step-dad), so in the mist of yesterday and talking to my grandmother, my mom, my Aunts.. I am bound and determined to do what is right for me.

Ever since the letter to my Step-dad. I have felt relief. I have felt that it did help. However, finding out that my Grandpa is in ICU yesterday I broke down. Why is it I am letting my ex-Step dad hold the value of who my family is? If he doesn’t want to see me he can walk away. I have pushed myself away from a whole family all because I was hurt, broken, and confused. Not knowing who I could trust, or who I could turn to, but you know..  Life happens. I was a child then, and it has been 6 years, it is time for me to heal, time for me to reach back out to my family. I was there since I was 2 (and I am 26 years old now), I think I deserve for my heart to be somewhat complete again. No more trying to make someone else happy. It is time for me to open my arms and fly.

I am going Saturday to visit my Grandfather. I haven’t seen him in a very long time. I am sure it is going to awkward, and tense, but it will be worth it. I just have to move the rock out of my way and do what I think is right.

Top Pet Peeves

Religion/Politics – Eeps!

Google Image 30 days of Truth is about bringing out the best in yourself. Also, to let people see the “real” you through what you write. For thirty days I will write about myself, I will dig deep and I hope you can start this journey with me. 30 days of Truth; Are you ready!?

Day 19 – What do you think of religion? Or what do you think of politics?

Religion
I am a believer in God, Jesus… I am a Christian. I am a non-church goer at this time, however, I still believe.
I quit going to church a long time ago. The reason…. (sigh)
Well, I want to go find a church that isn’t about “judging”. When I was younger I was always looked at and viewed.
An example: One night my fellow boyfriend wanted to come to church with me. I thought it was really nice of him wanting to come to my church, as I usually went to his church on Wednesdays Nights. Well, Wednesday Night at my church was fun. We would have a normal class, then we could play basketball and chit-chat about things. We would joke around and have fun, kids being kids.
However, this night changed my life, forever. I went to church to show off let my boyfriend see my friends, and hang out with my church “family”. We are holding hands, talking, and laughing with the group when one of the church leaders comes up to me and wanted to talk to me “privately”. I didn’t know what it was going to be about, but I felt as though I was in the principals office and now I need to call my momma.
The Guy: What do you think you’re doing?
Me: I dunno? Having fun?
The Guy: You think this is “normal” to bring your boyfriend here?
Me: Yeah, why not?
At this point my blood is raging! I stomp over to my boyfriend, called my mom and proceed to wait for my mom to come pick us up. Boyfriend and I at this time are young, we don’t even have vehicles, which less license! I finally come to the conclusion that the Youth Director was insinuating that I was sleeping with my boyfriend. That it wasn’t normal to be dating, and that I was in the wrong. What my Youth Director didn’t know was that my boyfriend and I barely hold hands, barely talk, barely see each other, other than Movies on Friday nights, and church events during the week, because he didn’t even attend the same school as me. Well, after that I night I stopped going to church for a while. I eventually found another church, but that’s for another day.

My views on religion… Well, don’t judge someone till you have been in their shoes and you know all the facts. Don’t tell them “how” to live their life, and who is to say even though you are a pastor, teacher, director or the leader that you have a right to judge anyone? Reach out a hand when you see your love one fall, or a church member, don’t go poking a stick in their chest, it will just make them feel worse than they already do. Also, someone who believes and read their bible at home, is just as good as someone who goes to church on Sunday morning, evening or Wednesday night, or more (depends on your religion). I, however, like to sit at home and worship in peace and not have anyone judge me about why I wasn’t at church or why I didn’t wear better clothes. I have more things in this world to worry about, and I would hope you do to.

Politics
When I turn on the News or CNN I have no clue what they are even talking about! It is like a foreign language to me. I don’t even vote, I don’t pick sides, I don’t do anything but sit my tail on my couch and mind my own business.

I do, however, pay attention to the President Election. If I did vote I would vote for the person I think would make this a better place. I would vote for someone who I thought/think would make the right decisions. I don’t believe in sticking with your “democrat/liberal/or whatever” ways. I believe it should be voted on what they talk about and how they act than what side of the politic side they are one, but that is just my opinion, so please don’t blow me up, haha!

What are you views on religion or politics?

Previous Days
Day 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18

Related Articles
Day 19 – Religion (ihasasad.wordpress.com)
Day 19: What do you think of religion? (wheniride.wordpress.com)
Truth Day 19 (therealladyinredink.wordpress.com)
30 Days of Truth (mairedubhtx.wordpress.com)
30 Day Challenge: What do you think… (siggiofmaine.wordpress.com)
Religion? (joellamorgan.wordpress.com)
Day 19 – 30 Days of Truth (jsh0608.wordpress.com)

There’s a BUG a Crawling…

Thank God I didn’t fall off the bed and hurt myself. I am usually good at keeping calm during these events, but no, not while I am sleeping.
Last night (not tonight, but Thursday night) we all decided to go to bed about the same time. Hubby put Jade to bed; I got myself ready for bed (of course checking my blog like a creeper before heading out for the night.)
I got all cozy in my bed, feet in my blankets, arm under the pillow, other hand up under my chin, with the blanket wrapped so securely and tight around my hand, right near my skin. I was so relaxed, in peace, getting ready to fall in that deep sleep, the deep sleep where your drool is about to run down your face, the sleep where you believe you are in the mystery side of heaven. Then Hubby wakes me, “Hey, Your daughter is awake.” (Your daughter – heard that right, lol) I throw the blanket off my arms, kick my feet out of the blankets and find myself at Jade’s bedroom door. She is standing there with her arms up, tears rolling down her face, “I need to go pee pee in the potty.” I put her down tell her to hurry up, because mommy is tired. She comes back; I give her kisses and send her back off in her bed.

I get back to my room, does the same process with my blanket, get all cozy, go back into my little peaceful dreamland, and Hubby wakes me again, 30 minutes later. I storm out the bed, yelling if he wakes me again I am going to go crazy. I get to my daughters room, and she says, “My pull up hurts.” I stump to the living room, grab a clean pull up, hand to her when I get back to her door, she changes them, throws the one that “hurts” in the hallway (even though there is nothing wrong with it, it just isn’t a “new” one). I bend down give her kisses, tell her to go night night, gave her the babies, and moezied my way back to my hole in the bed. (Note: It is now 12:00am)
4:00am Hubby jumps up (still asleep) and sits on the edge of the bed. I wake up ask him what is wrong, realize he is still asleep (thinking he might just think his alarm clock went off), tell him to lay back down, he still has a while. I get back to sleep when I was so rudely awakened by a BUG!!!
This bug was running down my arm, I flipped it off my arm, I jumped up on the bed, grab my pillow, shake it, run across to the other side of the bed, flipped on the light, and there is the bug… a CENTIPEDE!! He is now crawling over the blankets I start letting my voice get a little louder. I wake hubby tell him to get the BUG! I am now sitting back on my knees as the bug approaches my blanket; Hubby flicks him off the bed, then turns out the light. I sit there, waiting, wondering if it is going to come back! Hubby didn’t kill it remember!

Google ImageGoogle Image

Well, I stayed up til 6:30am Friday morning. Before hubby went to work we checked and shook all the pillow (all 5 of em), shook the blanket, made sure the bed skirt was in fact off the floor (tucking it in under the mattress) and I rolled up into my blanket like a cocoon. I finally dozed off to be awakening at 8:00am to my little Jade wanting a cookie.

A Date Night

Hubby and I ventured out yesterday (Friday). Before we went out I was working in my yard. Hubby kept telling me I need to hurry we have bad weather coming through. Well, BLAH! I wanted to get all this done, since I have more of my flowerbeds done, now I just need to get to weeding out grass. While I was planting some more monkey grass, hubby was helping with making the holes bigger, and dividing it up so I can just place it in the hole and cover it up. I got halfway done with my 22 holes and it starts thundering, the more times it thunders, the closer it gets. I was hurrying up, throwing the grass in the hole, getting dirt and placing it in there. I don’t think I have moved that fast in a long time. When I went to stand up, it felt like I was going to fall over. I don’t guess you need to be leaning over for too long, ha!
Anyway, we got half of them in Hubby ran Jade in, gave her a bath. As I walked to the house I could feel my phone falling from my boobs. UGH! My hands where full, a drink, wow I can’t even remember everything I had, hahaha! Yeah, so I stopped in the hallway and told hubby to save my phone. (I forgot I put my phone between my boobs). Hubby starts joking around about it and tossed my phone in his chair and took back off to help Jade in the tub. I got me something to eat (since I didn’t eat breakfast and I took my diet pill, not a good combo), filled up my drink, grabbed my phone and went outside to wait for them to get out of the bathroom so I can get my shower and get ready to go to the movies.
As I sat outside I looked at my phone, tried to turn it on, because it often just goes off by itself. I had no luck getting it to turn on. At this point I feel like everything isn’t going right. My phone is being stupid, my flowers are not all planted, and I still have to get a shower before the storm moves in. I watch the clouds and try to fix my phone, taking it apart, putting it back together, beating it, lol! I finally stood up to take it to hubby. While I stood up, the chair I was sitting in fell off the porch, due to a little gust of wind and my legs pushed it back since I stepped back before going forward.
I gave my phone to my hubby and he put my sim card in his phone, handed me his phone and tried to fix my phone. (No Luck with my phone, Hubby says it has gone loopy! and for good this time) Sigh.
I finally get a shower, get out. I don’t even flat iron my hair. As I was drying my hair the storm started. You could hear the wind howling, lightning popping and the thunder rolling. I got half of my hair dried when I went to look out the living room window, right in time to see the lightning hit in the yard. It was a nasty storm, you can see pictures of what it did to Life’s Little Slices garden since she just lives 5 miles from me.
We get to Lisa’s house; leave Jade and head on our way to see X-men. I have to say I liked the movie. It brought everything together from the other movies. Some parts were corny, but what movie now-a-days doesn’t have corny crap in it? It was definitely a lot of action, and it was really worth it for me. After the movie I ask hubby where were going to eat, and he takes me McDonald’s, so I super size it, LOL! JK!! He did take me to McDonald’s though.  Not much on my diet, but I did only eat half of the burger, and half of the fries. 🙂 So, I did pretty good.
How was your Friday or your week?

No One Expects

Day 14: A song that no one would expect you to love

I have 2 bands that people wouldn’t think I would listen to, or like for that matter. When I play them people are like “wow, you really listen to this stuff?” LOL!!! So, here they are 🙂

Whats a song or band that no one would expect you to love?

Music Challenge
Day 13: A song that is a guilty pleasure
Day 12: A song from a band you hate
Day 11: A song from your favorite band
Day 10: A song that makes you fall asleep
Day 09: A song that you can dance to
Day 08: A song that you know all the words to
Day 07: A song that reminds you of a certain event
Day 06: A song that reminds of you of somewhere
Day 05: A song that reminds you of someone
Day 04: A song that makes you sad
Day 03: A song that makes you happy
Day 02: Your least favorite song
Day 01: Your favorite song

Life is hard

Sometimes in life we are dealt some hard cards. The cards that you hold in your hand for years to come, never knowing if you should get rid of them, or keep hanging on to them.

I have been dealt with a lot of cards in my life. I always come out on top, always looking at the positive instead of the negative. Can you imagine how life or your friends would be if your life is full of nothing but Negative? The sad brought on everyday, or the smart ass comments that they say 24-7. I have noticed to make your life better for yourself, you have to figure out who you are in the beginning. You have to find your inner-self before you can get rid of the cards that you are dealt.

No one ever said that this life is easy, and that you will never go through hard times, or times that you will never cry.

So, for today. Figure out what makes you happy, and sit and just relax on that thought. Let the smile come to your face, as you feel what you are thankful about, or just call a friend/family to make you laugh. Everyone needs a time in their day to smile, laugh and feel good about themselves.

 Joke for today

A young man was walking through a supermarket to pick up a few things when he noticed an old lady following him around. Thinking nothing of it, he ignored her and continued on. Finally he went to the checkout line, but she got in front of him. “Pardon me,” she said, “I’m sorry if my staring at you has made you feel uncomfortable. It’s just that you look just like my son, who just died recently.” “I’m very sorry,” replied the young man, “is there anything I can do for you?” “Yes,” she said, “As I’m leaving, can you say ‘Good bye, Mother’? It would make me feel so much better.” “Sure,” answered the young man.
As the old woman was leaving, he called out, “Goodbye, Mother!” As he stepped up to the checkout counter, he saw that his total was $127.50. “How can that be?” He asked, “I only purchased a few things!” “Your mother said that you would pay for her,” said the clerk.
Thanks to: Terry Lockheart http://www.ajokeaday.com

Illegal Download/Murder

You know me. I am typically your random topics blogger. Hints the “Were Jumin'” – random thoughts throughout the day.

I have been thinking about some things today.

What I don’t understand in our “government” is a woman getting charged for 1.5 million bucks (24 songs) for downloading illegal music (as seen here), but someone who can murder someone gets 10-20 years in jail, how is that possible? I don’t understand our government and probably never will. My thoughts is, if you kill someone, than your life should be done too. You took someone from the world, so you should live your life in jail or death penalty.

We slap people on the hand for murdering, but fine people millions of dollars for songs? How is that logic? Or even a man molesting a 6 week old baby, his own child, broke her limb, fractured her brain, and raped her and he gets 25 years in jail… (sighs) how is this right? Why is it our government cares about the little stuff instead of the big things? You can never get your child back if someone kills them, but yet they can continue live their life when they get out of jail? Someone who downloads music gets sued for 1.5 million dollars, but yet she didnt kill anyone? I just dont understand. She will never be able to pay the 1.5 million, she probably brings home the “below average income”.

Sorry to be all over the place, but I dont see how our government is right, nothing seems right, but yet people think we have the best of the best. when really we have people without jobs, people without a lot of things, homeless on the streets, but yet we have enough food in this country to feed the world. You have the government giving money to build “new” government buildings, but yet we have people who can’t even afford food on the table, or a job to even apply for.

Just my random thoughts of the day.

I know All

Day 08: A song that you know all the words to

Well, I decided to add the songs I use to sing on Jenna-Certs we had when I was growing up. Every Friday/Saturday night my friends would come over and we would do Jenna-Certs (Jenna Concerts/Karaoke). We had these a very long time, and most of my friends would stay extremely late. It was a lot of fun, and a lot of laughs. I will never forget them times, and no the smiles on everyone’s face. Here is a few songs I would sing.

I know a lot of songs, by heart, and if I posted just 1 song, then how fun would that be? Happy Listening 🙂

Music Challenge
Day 07: A song that reminds you of a certain event
Day 06: A song that reminds of you of somewhere

Day 05: A song that reminds you of someone
Day 04: A song that makes you sad
Day 03: A song that makes you happy
Day 02: Your least favorite song
Day 01: Your favorite song

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