Wednesday Quote: Pause

amazing

We could all use this reminder sometimes. Life seems to move pretty fast, if you don’t stop to look around once in awhile, you could miss it. Maybe we just need to slow down. Let’s pause in the moment.

National Coming Out of the Closet Day

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National Coming Out Day. Every year on National Coming Out Day, we celebrate coming out as lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer (LGBTQ) or as an ally. On Oct. 11, 2016, we will mark the 28th anniversary of National Coming Out Day.

One out of every two Americans has someone close to them who is gay or lesbian. For transgender people, that number is only one in 10.

Watch this video:

Did you know just before and/or after the coming out process, LGBTQ youth are at highest risk for suicide?

I am an ally. I will support those in the LGBTQ community. I believe they should love who they want, what they do in their own home does not affect me. I have lots of friends in the community, and my heart is just the same. They are human beings just like me, and I wish more people would stop judging them on their lifestyle, and start embracing them with love. We need to come together as equality, and stop with the hate.

Coming out doesn’t have to be public, just own it for yourself. Don’t feel bad for those around you, because true friends will love just who you are, no matter what attracts you. Keep smiling, you have something to live for and know that I support you. Hang in there my friend.

Websites to look into:
Human Rights Campaign
National Coming Out Day on Facebook
Teaching Tolerance: 5 ways to support

Breaking the Silence

To stop these awful things from happening, first, we need to talk about it. We need to stop shaming victims, and stop telling them to be silenced. 

no

When victims of sexual abuse speak up, they need to be able to know where to go to start the process of healing. They need a list of advocates, lawyers, anyone who will help them heal from the inside out. They need to know they are not alone and the healing process is going to long-term. Nothing is ever cured on short-term bases.

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Homeschooling, On the Fence

home-school

I have started thinking about homeschooling 4 years ago when my daughter was diagnosed with food allergies. I am already a stay-at-home-mom so why not keep her safe at home and teach her from here? We have battled so much, and I know it will be beneficial to her because she can go at her own pace. She will be able to do what she wants, and she can excel in the subjects or categories she wants to.

However, here is my dilemma.
Will they miss out on the social skills with friends? 
Right now Grayson really doesn’t understand so I am going with my daughter. She says she don’t talk at school, she is scared she will get in trouble. She said she is pretty much quiet throughout the day, and only talks when she is allowed. To me this sets off alarms.
My child’s voice is being held from learning.
How will she miss her friends? Will she miss that recess time of 20 minutes with her friends?

I just don’t know how homeschool moms go through the social thing. She loves the communication, the friendships, the knowledge that people are about her outside her home.

Another thing I am on the fence about is the Common Core.
I don’t want to teach my child about Common Core. It is boring, pointless and utterly ridiculous. I see no point in it, and I am sure a lot of you all agree. I just want her to know an easy way to do things. The onsite of eye-rolling at homework, and she barely has any but with homeschool, she will never have homework.

Gosh, do you see what I mean? I am just going in circles. I have no clue what is coming and going. All these mixed emotions are so weird for me, usually I don’t have mixed emotions. I just “do“.

How does one go about teaching a child at home if you don’t know how to teach them? Do they have teachers? Will there be others to call on for help? How does this work? Btw – if anyone knows any of the questions feel free to let me know, or maybe even where to look for the answers. I do know I don’t want to be in K12, or a Public Online School which is controlled by the state, because I do not want Common Core.

I want to be able to teach my child life experiences. Things they can look forward to as they grow. I love being with my kids, sure, some days I might want to pull my hair out, but we will have to find the happy medium in it all. Sure, I do love when they go to school and I have that extra time to take a power nap, but I think it will be beneficial to figure out what will help them grow into their own little grown humans.

At what age do you start with your kids homeschooling. There are so many things that are wanting me to go for it. Lockdown Drills, so many school shooting now a days, and it seems it will only get worse. Her anxiety with what everyone else is eating, and my anxiety on what others are doing around her as well.

Baby Fever

a-baby

Why do I have baby fever!?

I have such high baby fever. I want another baby, even after all we deal with… I would love another baby. There is a lot of things I would do different if I had another baby: not know the sex of the baby, not tell anyone, no announcements, and to breastfeed.

I honestly feel like I missed out a lot with my babies.
Jade was born with a lot of complication, NICU for 9 days, us in the hospital for 12 days for an unknown blood infection. She was born Christmas Eve, and Christmas Day they didn’t even know if she would live. Heartbreaking things, but we made it. Grayson was a good delivery, just missed out on breastfeeding because I didn’t know how well he would do, and then all the fussing, crying, stomach issues. I felt bad. I should had breastfed.

Both my babies will be in school next year. I would love for another bundle of joy. It took some time with our babies. They had to adjust my pH balance with Jade. With Grayson I had to take progesterone for 13 weeks. They didn’t want to lose him and my levels were not where they needed to be. So, I honestly don’t know what they means for another. My regular doctor already has me on vitamins with folic acid, not due to “maybe more babies” but due to hair loss, trying to figure out what is going on with me since the delivery of Grayson. I guess from here we just wait and see. Hubby says no, because of his school, but I think I manage 2 kids pretty well. My anxiety and depression doesn’t interfere with them. I still manage what I need to do as a mom, I just learn to push through to get what I need to get done, done.

So, how do you know you have Baby Fever?

Having an itch to buy all the tests. I want to stock up, but then again, I want to be surprised? What is this concept. Just me?! Okay. Let’s just say it is. ha!

Pregnancy Bump. Hello, all pregnancy clothes are cute! Have you seen them, heck, I still wear them now and my “baby” is 3-years-old.

Sleeping Baby Woes. Friends or family having babies and you are ooing over wanting one of your own! Look how tiny, I need one of those! You can’t stop staring at it, no matter what. It is like a magnet straight to your soul.

Cutely Dressed Kids. Omg, why cannot I be crafty, but I am filled with ovary bursts of “I want that!” Plus, babies are just like dressing baby dolls, they don’t fight over what they want to wear, and you can totally put them in whatever you want! Heck, Yes!

Looking back on past baby pictures. Why. Why do they grow up so fast!? They turn 5 and all of a sudden they are little independent things who no longer need you to dress them. Why. Why. Why. Yes, I know what I need!

#FoodAllergyWalk #FAREWalk #OurStory

food-allergies

At the end of October, we will walk for awareness for food allergies.
Here is our story:

At age 4 she was diagnosed with anaphylaxis to tree nuts.
Jade was staying with my mom while hubby and I went on a fishing date. We didn’t go far, less than 10 minutes away. My mom wanted to feed Jade some yogurt while we were away. No big deal. A kid has to eat and why not make it healthy. So, my mom fixed yogurt with crushed walnuts and mixed it and gave it to Jade. Jade immediately ran to the bathroom spitting out the grit of walnuts into the toilet. She was scrapping her tongue with her teeth, she was doing everything in her power to get rid of whatever was in her mouth. Jade then started telling her Nana she needed a hospital. Now, understand this is a 4-year-old. She was pointing out the front door saying, “I need a doctor. I need the hospital.” At this point my mom calls me to let me know something might be wrong. Hubby and I load up to head to my mom’s.
We walk in to my daughter still in a panic kind of state. She wasn’t swelling, no visual signs of anything wrong, so I told my mom to give her some Benadryl and I would take her home to watch her through the night. We load up, takes about 20 minutes to get back to our house. It is dark out, I carry Jade inside.
Once inside, I put Jade on the floor and tell her to go see her Dad, he was in the Kitchen seeing if we had more Benadryl for later. I noticed something not right with her legs and told him to look at her.
He raised her shirt, her short legs and noticed blanket hives, thick looking hives all over her skin where her clothes touched her body. He looked dead at me to say, “We need to go NOW. No waiting. Hives mean Now.”

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A Letter To My Husband

a-letter-to-my-husband

My Protector, My Love,
I decided to write you today. We have been through a lot in the past few years and I thought now would be a good time to write you. Life can be hard, life can get messy, and we both know how messy it can get.

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Heart Palpitations

heartpalitations

Heart palpitations are a feeling that your heart is beating too hard or too fast, skipping a beat, or fluttering. You may notice heart palpitations in your chest, throat, or neck. Heart palpitations can be bothersome or frightening. They usually aren’t serious or harmful, though, and often go away on their own.

I started getting heart palpitations when everything happened with the neighbor. I don’t know if the amount of stress started it, or if it was a mix of everything. I was also in the middle of a civil rights case against my daughter’s school when everything was going on. I was also in the middle of being distant with family. I really had a lot going on and I wasn’t using my voice as I should had been.

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My Own Insecurities

 

confidence

I honestly struggle a lot.
My insecurities doesn’t cause me anxiety, that I am aware of. But I really am self conscious. It is a weird thing to be inside my mind. I guess in reality I just throw on clothes, but then I look in the mirror and realize my mom muffin top can be seen and completely change what I wanted to wear. It sucks. I only have the front of my stomach to be the issue. Like you can totally tell a watermelon kiddo was in there. Like excess skin, stretch marks, the look of a muffin top… it doesn’t go away. Maybe some people look at me to be beautiful but in my head, I think I can be “better“.

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First Year and more with Grayson

I know I kind of left you guys hanging after Grayson was born. So, let me update you.

Grayson was born on April 7th. He is our lucky 7 baby. His delivery was amazing. Not much excitement. I had an epidural. My epidural was trying to wear off when I was around 8cm. Dude, you wanna talk about pain. Dear heavens, I was about to have a come to Jenna meeting right on the spot.

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